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alcoholic mum in rehab

Posted by chowebella on 19 December 2015.

New to this ans feeling rather overwhelmed, thought sharing my story may help. Ive recently found out my mum is an alcholic, recently seperated from my dad she turned to the bottle and things spiraled pretty quickly. To see my mother so low she even considered suicide made me take action and we admitted her to a detox and rehab unit this week. Only now I feel like the worlds worse daughter, i think about her every second of the day and its breaking my heart. She rings and desperately wants out of there which hurts me so much. I keep telling myself its for the best but the feelings of guilt and sorrow are so overwhelming its taking every ounce of strength I have not to jump in the car and go pick her up. Shes been in detox for 3 days now, does it get easier? Will she hate me for this forever?

Comments

Arabella
20 Dec 2015

Hi chowebella, my daughter drank for many years but it got much worse when her husband started divorce proceedings. In the last six months she started having alcohol related seizures and several hospital admissions. Just over a month ago she was admitted to hospital after another collapse and offered rehydration or detox. She chose detox and has now been dry for 33 days. She is almost back to the daughter l remember but the honeymoon period is starting to fade and l worry every day that she will return to the drink. Apparently most addicts fall of the wagon 3 to 4 times after detox but l hope she is the exception. It needs to be the addicts choice to stop drinking and we can only hope and pray they are strong enough to stay dry. Don't beat yourself up, all we can do is love and support them in their recovery and pray they have the strength to make the right choices. Hope things turn out well.

Arabella
20 Dec 2015

Hi chowebella, my daughter drank for many years but it got much worse when her husband started divorce proceedings. In the last six months she started having alcohol related seizures and several hospital admissions. Just over a month ago she was admitted to hospital after another collapse and offered rehydration or detox. She chose detox and has now been dry for 33 days. She is almost back to the daughter l remember but the honeymoon period is starting to fade and l worry every day that she will return to the drink. Apparently most addicts fall of the wagon 3 to 4 times after detox but l hope she is the exception. It needs to be the addicts choice to stop drinking and we can only hope and pray they are strong enough to stay dry. Don't beat yourself up, all we can do is love and support them in their recovery and pray they have the strength to make the right choices. Hope things turn out well.

Icarus Trust
11 Jan 2016

Hi Chowebella,
I sounds like you are being totally supportive to your mum and it is hard for you to cope with the affects of her drinking and the way its making you feel. I was wondering if you could do with any support for yourself to help get you through what is a very hard time. The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports people like yourself who are having to cope with a loved one's addiction. We offer a free service called 'Family Friends.' These are experienced trained volunteers who you could be put in touch with. They would understand what you are dealing with, and talking to one of them might help you to make sense of how you are feeling and not to feel quite so overwhelmed.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I do hope that you can get some support and things start to improve for you. Good luck.

Aimiee
1 Feb 2016

Hi Chowebella, 
I am in the same position as you. My mum is an alcoholic, 2-3 years now, It peeked last Christmas and she ended up in hospital, was in for a month and came out with her partner, was sober for about 6months, until she had her 'independence' back, and could go to the shops by herself. Now is has got really bad again, shes threatening to kill herself, she doesnt care that the doctors told her one more drink could kill her, her answer is 'good'. (although denies the drinking). 
She is now being violent to her partner, and will hardly talk to my brother or me. 
we dont know what to do, and not sure how we could even go about rehab etc at the moment, but are trying to look into options to help her. The problem is 'she doesn't want help' 
We just dont know what to do, sorry this post isnt much help, and I dont have any advice, apart from I think you are doing the right thing, and for your peace of mind that you are doing all you can do. Your not alone x

Aimiee
1 Feb 2016

Hi Chowebella, 
I am in the same position as you. My mum is an alcoholic, 2-3 years now, It peeked last Christmas and she ended up in hospital, was in for a month and came out with her partner, was sober for about 6months, until she had her 'independence' back, and could go to the shops by herself. Now is has got really bad again, shes threatening to kill herself, she doesnt care that the doctors told her one more drink could kill her, her answer is 'good'. (although denies the drinking). 
She is now being violent to her partner, and will hardly talk to my brother or me. 
we dont know what to do, and not sure how we could even go about rehab etc at the moment, but are trying to look into options to help her. The problem is 'she doesn't want help' 
We just dont know what to do, sorry this post isnt much help, and I dont have any advice, apart from I think you are doing the right thing, and for your peace of mind that you are doing all you can do. Your not alone x

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