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Alone

Posted by NJ on 11 October 2014.

Hi, never done this before, am 8months pregnant, he's been clean for 2 weeks this time, which I'm glad about but he can't support me in any way, financially, emotionally or any way, it's such a scarey time to feel so alone for me, it's like he's void and his lack of care at this time is hard to take. I'm trying to stay quiete and just be supportive with his issues, but it's been like that for ages, always having to be supportive with his drug issues, is it too selfish of me to want him to support me at some point in my life. How do I avoid feeling so angry, alone and scared all the time, it's effecting me every second of the day at the moment, I have a 2 yr old too and it's stressing me out that our issues will upset him. Whole thing feels too sad and unmanageable. I have just got through 6 months of nothing but him wanting money for drugs, which was so hard to cope with pregnant, and now its still about him and his emotional needs, does it never go away, or do you at least ever  get a break from it, or am I deluded and holding on to the hope of a happyish family picture that is never going to come. I just want someone to be nice to me for 10 min and I feel really guilty and selfish asking for that.

Comments

lolipop
11 Oct 2014

Oh lovely girl  Your 8 months pregnant of course you want support and to feel like your loved you deserve it . This should be a special time for all of you and addiction is robbing you of it . It's a terrible thing to live with someone who is a drug abuser It takes everything good in your life and destroys it if you let it. Do you have family or good friends who can be there for you ? Don't be alone with your worries share them with someone . Now is not the time for you to make big decisions about what you want to do concentrate on you and your  family . I wish I could say more to help love and hugs lollipop xxx

Icarus_Trust
14 Oct 2014

Hi NJ,

That is an awful and tough situation you're in!  You need to have a break and speak to someone about what you're going through to help process it and get the support you deserve.  The Icarus Trust are a charity who provide a free service called Family Friend.  These are people who have also dealt with addiction in their families and can try and provide the support service you need, as well as a signposting service.  Drop them an email on info@icarustrust.org or go to their website www.icarustrust.org.

Wish you all the best!

NJ
7 Dec 2014

Hi, I will try to contact them, I really need help, I love my husband very much and can't bear loosing my family. How does it work

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