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Am I losing my son?

Posted by patricia on 24 February 2014.

My son is 30 and this whole mess has been going on since his late teens. At first I very stupidly thought if I support him both emotionally and financially I would 'make it all better'!! How stupid have I been! My son smoked heroin and while doing that experienced many other hits and highs using other substances. I have always been there for him, or so I thought, in fact.....I now know he was merely using me (as drug users do) I was a meal ticket, money ticket and stupidly thought if I keep supplying him with cash when supposedly needed, then he'll not be tempted to acquire cash in ways I dont want to think about.  He now phones me at all times of the day and night telling me he's in a desperate situation as his rent, electricity bill, etc etc is due and needs to be paid NOW, so who do you think pays all those bills?! Yes, you're prob right! I now know that every time he speaks to me it just one big lie. It saddens me so much, this is my son, I gave birth to him and held him in my arms those first few moments. But now....this is NOT the child I knew. This last week was one of the worst I and my other son has experienced with the  lies and fabrications.I At the moment, I cant take any more and have asked my son not to contact me in any way at all. Its to give me some breathing space and time to recover. If I dont do this....I am going to go under! It will be a relief when my phone rings and I look at whose calling to see its NOT my son, to not experience the dread of 'what does he want, how much cash does he need'?? I lie awake at night worrying and thinking. Life should not be like this. If there is another mother of a drug addict on this site I would love to have contact with you, I desperately need to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. Thankyou wherever you are

Comments

fifi65
24 Feb 2014

Hi Patrica, I share your life, its the mirror image of my own.. my sons coming up 30 in April and its been all about drugs since his teens.. He is a heroin/crack cocaine addict now.. homeless, I had to turn him out for my own sanity :( I've told my son to only contact me now when he serious about getting clean ( again)  you can Email me on jofio@live.co.uk and maybe we can help each other 
out, I feel ive wore my friends and family out, they care but are at a loss as to what to say anymore..
stay strong fiona xx

Carole Helen
25 Feb 2014

Hi Patrica & Fiona 
I am going through the same thing only my son is an Alcoholic then he turns to drugs, he went into rehab in 2011 he was clean for 18 months then relapsed then got got clean again but he's been on & off for the past few months now.
He was suppose to start a new job today he says he is at work but I don't think he is :( I see him twice a week but I have the same thing he tells me he lost his money or he owes someone money it's always something .
My family are fed up of listening to it & I don't have friends I can trust to talk to about this I feel so alone It would nice to have contact with someone I can talk to my email address is coggsie1@googlemail.com 
Thank you x

sad and tired
26 Feb 2014

Hi both, if you don't mind I will email as well.  I am going through the same, I went to open road yesterday for a family session, guess what the family sessions are being cut due to funding in march.  help for the family is so important.  My son has court fines which he hasn't been paying, I have tried to sort this out but he is now not paying again.  Sometimes it feels as if he is pushing a self distruct button and I don't know why. xxx

patricia
26 Feb 2014

BIG hello everyone and BIG hug as well, what we are all going through is just so similar. We need some sort of strength to get through and hopefully we have found just that by coming on to this site. I have lots of good friends but none have experienced just what my son is putting me through so hopefully chatting with all you 'mum's' will help, not just me but us all:-) Keep in touch

sad and tired
26 Feb 2014

patricia I have emailed carol and fifi 55 and asked for your email address, I hope that is alright.  I don't want to put mine on the site.  xxx

patricia
26 Feb 2014

No problem having my e-mail address, be good to talk with you all and hope it helps 'US' repair in some way!

fifi65
26 Feb 2014

Hi sad and tired I havent received an email hun, are you sure you sent it to the right address? jofio@live.co.uk

sad and tired
27 Feb 2014

sent it again. let me know if you get it x

sad and tired
27 Feb 2014

Patricia, if you want to leave your email address for me, I will contact you.  my situation sounds like yours may have done a while back.  xx or a mobile number.  Would be good to be able to speak to someone.

lily1
10 Mar 2014

Hi ladies I've just been reading you blog , and your stories are so like mine, it is my 30year old daughter that worries me so much, she came home to stay with me as she was pregnant , I was willing to do this as I wanted her and the baby to have a chance at a proper life, three years on I'm not sure I can take it anymore, the constant lies and sneakyness and I'm at a loss as I feel I've tried everything and it just isn't working, can anyone pleeeese advise.xxx

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