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broken and don't know what to do

Posted by Sammy on 7 November 2014.

I met my boyfriend 2 years ago. We had an amazing relationship. We waited a year and moved in together, blending our families together. He would always look at me with such love. A few months into our relationship I found out he smoked marijuana. I don't do drugs, but weed isn't as bad at cocaine...right? Well a few months after that, I did indeed find out he was snorting and selling cocaine. I was devastated. I had a talk with him, a major one. Telling him his risks with losing his children, his job, going to jail and even overdosing. He stopped. I could tell, his behaviors and the things he did was different. In this last 10 months, he has hurt his ankle, got put on pain meds, he claimed his back was bothering him from an accident years ago, got put on more pain meds. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying that he never loved me. He felt sorry for me, he is confused and doesn't want to work on anything. His behavior got a little carried away and I sat him down and confronted him on drugs. He denied it and said he takes as prescribed (codiene). As I'm cleaning out the house to move I have found, a plate with cocaine on it, pill bottles with the name ripped off the label (hydrocodone, not from his pharmacy) another bottle with hydrocodone in it with no label (not from his pharmacy). I found needles (that he claims were for steroids he took before we started dating). I found a whole case of steroids. His prescription is out that he he got refilled, but shouldn't be out yet. And for some reason today I decided to look above the ceiling tile in the basement and I found my son's wallet there with all the money gone. I don't know what to do. I am still moving but I care about him. He has 3 children to take care of. I have grown attached to these kids and cant stand to watch him ruin his or their lives. And as far as finding all this stuff it was in places in the house no one goes. There is a room off the basement (finished) that is just for storage. I was in there to get my stuff out and found the cocaine plate. How should I go about confronting him? He isn't violent by any means (not yet anyways) but him stealing from my son is the absolute last straw, I have never been in this situation and I need help.


8 Nov 2014

Addicts steal, sorry but it's fact....he has 3 children who will be left in the midst of his addiction.....I'm so sorry that things haven't worked out, but I fear for his kids big say you have a son, I think you should stop and think about the impact on him, kids deserve an environment where they are priority...and believe me at the moment it sounds like he is just about keeping things together.....not sure how long he can maintain that! I'm not saying give up,but living with an addict is frightening, scary, and a feeling like walking on egg shells.....all the clues are there.....only he can want to get help......only you know what to do, and I hope you find your answer......I wouldn't want any kid to be around that situation....hugs and take care of yourself and your son, and his kids xx

Icarus Trust
17 Nov 2014

Hi Sammy,
This must be such a hard thing for you, having to deal with your relationship break up, as well as your worry about the impact on your son and the other kids.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We have trained people called Family Friends who are experienced in listening and supporting people like yourself to find a way through situations like this this. If you contact the Trust you would be assigned a Family Friend who you could talk to in complete confidence. 
Please contact Icarus Trust on or visit our website
I really hope that this will help you.

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