mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli

for
families

We care, for the better.

A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

sign in

Sign in to make comments and contribute your own stories. Or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Sign In

Want to find a support group? Enter your postcode or town below to find a support group near you.

Find help

Share Your Story

Brother an Addict!!!!!

Posted by browithdrugaddiction on 14 January 2014.

I am 31 live with my hubby and two young children, I have two brothers one 28 and then my younger brother 23 who is a drug addict. My brother lives with my mum and since the age of about 14 has smoked cannabis then in the last three to four years has been addicted to cocaine. He has been in prison 3 times already and looks like he is on his way back!!! Throughout the years he has stolen significant amounts of cash, jewellery etc from my grandparents, my mum and myself. He has burgled the houses on serval occasions and made out it was nothing to do with him but then is caught and goes to prison. My dad died when my brother was 16 and he seems to have gotten worse since then and everyone uses this as his excuse!!!.

My feelings are this would have escalated anyway. His latest rampage has left my other brother out of pocket by £1000.00 as he told him if he didn't get the money within 24 hours he was going to killed. My brother gave him the money to pay the dealer after listening to his sob story of how he was never going to do it again, and how he was treated in prison and he could never go back.  A week later he has stolen my grandmas jewellery which I found in the pawnbrokers and bought it back. The police are now involved but say they are too busy to arrest him until a week on thursday!!! He is still on probation and license until June. I can't understand why they can't just go and pick him up!!! They have a statement off my grandma and the pawn brokers they have all the evidence they need!!!.

He still does not realise that we all know he has taken it, he sits on his bed most of the day in my mums house. He does nothing, he is constantly on the phone to god knows who. Then he nips out for half an hour here and there, comes back and is off his face.

I don't know what to do anymore, my mum won't kick him out, she wants him arrested so she still knows where he is. She would hate for him to be on the streets and not know what is happening to him. My older brothers PS3 has gone missing now also so we all know what he has done with that.

So I am all ate up but think it will be over soon and he will be back inside then my husband pipes up about him coming to live here with us for 6 months and see if we can sort him out. I DON'T know what to do. I have two young children, I feel like if I send him back to prison what if this would have worked if he came to live with us. I feel extremely confused  and feel guilty sending him back to prison. Please can someone give me some advice. My husband works all the time, so lucky I am at home all the time. What would you do in my situation? Would you take the risk of having him in your house or would you leave him to his fate?

PLEASE HELP

Comments

emmaj112000
14 Jan 2014

Hi,

I only joined yesterday but two people commented upon my story and it seems we all go through the same things.  I still blame myself and my mum is similar to yours, she takes pity but I have heard it all before.  I think by the sounds of it there is nothing you can do that you have not already tried.  You have your own children to think about and if he can steal of you all, I am sure he is capable of stealing off your children.  Maybe chat to the two ladies who contacted me, they may be able to guide you further.  I actually felt a little relief being on here yesterday as I am too ashamed to talk to friends etc.  Maybe you won't be able to help your brother but you can help yourself.

browithdrugaddiction
14 Jan 2014

Thank you for taking the time to read, since I wrote this, this morning my brother has been arrested and is in court tomorrow. He rang my other brother crying for him to give him a bail address. The tears are false he just does this to get a reaction, it leaves us feeling guilty though even though we have already done everything we can. I just want him to be my little brother again instead of this monster he has turned into. It's like he has a split personality. He got out in May last year and for the first few months he couldn't do enough for all of us. He was really trying to get a job and get driving. Then looking back you can see the downward spiral start, sitting in his room all the time, the lying, the sneaking about, he lost the weight he managed to gain, he started getting spots all over his face again and he looked pasty all the time.

I feel like you I am ashamed to talk to anyone about him, my dads mum disowned him years ago when he swore to  my grandad on his death bed he was going to turn his life around and then later that day broke into my nans house whilst she was in the hospital and robbed her. 

Its just so sad that he will no longer be apart of our life...

Franticmum
14 Jan 2014

Hi, since I found this site on Christmas Eve when I was at a very low point, I have continued to visit it, and although sad that there are many people  that are living a similar nightmare, it has given me some comfort to share my feelings, it's good to find others that understand the roller coaster of emotions that you go through, I would not begin to tell you what you should do but some advice that I have found helpful is you need to go with your gut instincts and try not to let your heart rule (not easy though, I know) you have 2 young children that look to you to teach them right and wrong, there are not enough bad words to describe how I feel about drugs, addicts are very devious they will lie n cheat and do anything for their fix, my son is an addict and at the moment has relapsed he knows that I love him but cannot for my own sanity be part of the life he is choosing at the moment. Although no one can change what is happening, by posting on here you will realise you are not alone, keep strong 

Sue xx

emmaj112000
15 Jan 2014

Sue, how do you cope?  My son yesterday stole of my niece and he said he would stay away from us all as we treat him like rubbish and we got we wanted, not having him around.  He does not see it is actions that cause the reaction.  I feel exactly the lady above and I said to my mum last he is unstable.  

Emma x

Franticmum
16 Jan 2014

Honestly Emma I'm not sure how I've got through some of the really bad times, it's a no win situation, when he's around I'm constantly on edge always checking what he's up to, but then a few years ago he just disappeared and nobody knew where he was, that's when I kept having nightmares, what if was laying in a ditch somewhere, every time the phone rang I was scared it would be bad news, they were really bad times, I ended up in hospital it made me so ill, I don't know to this day where he was cos he refuses to tell us, I would love to tell you it gets easier but for me this time is the worse of all, I feel he has totally lost me now, how will I ever trust him again, he has let himself and me down big time and at the moment I can't see it ever ending, sorry I'm really struggling at the moment, have you watched the video at the top of the site? I don't know if I could sit there n tell my story, it's easier to write it down for me and I do feel a bit better for sharing my thoughts on here, it's took me over 17 years to put myself first I don't know if I will be able to keep it up but I'm going to try,  I've been rambling again but it helps, take care Emma and remember keep strong 

Sue xxx

You must be signed in to comment. To sign in, use the form to the right, or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Submit