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Christmas time

Posted by AmandaA on 23 December 2013.

Hi everybody
Christmas is a wonderful time especially like me if you have smaller children.  The magic of it all is clouded by the issues with my son.  You can see the story in an earlier thread.   I am trying really hard to be positive but inside I am screaming.  I feel so heartbreakingly sad for my son who will be on his own at Christmas.  I have sent him some food and reaffirmed that I love him but cant tolerate the drug taking and all that goes with it.  I am excited about Christmas but dreading it too and in truth want it over so I dont have to worry about my son as much.  I go to meetings to help me and it really does help and has been my lifeline but somehow at this time of year the sadness and heartache is far far greater and catches up with you.  Just because they are badly behaved and have caused years of stress, trauma and pain, most of which the outside world would not believe he is still my son and I wish I could scoop him up and make it better for him.  I know I cant.  So through gritted teeth, focus and a will to make Christmas wonderful for everybody else, I will.  I will just do it with a very heavy heart and a sadness that will consume me inside although nobody else will see it.   To all those out there suffering like me I hope you do have a Merry Christmas and lets hope that 2014 brings us some peace and more than anything hope that those we love that cant seem to help themselves find the strength to move forward.  Merry Christmas everybody xxx

Comments

Franticmum
24 Dec 2013

Merry christmas AmandaA, I too face this time of year with much sadness and despair, I fear tomorrow because I know there will be upset and pain, this year is made even harder than most as the last couple of years have been the best in 17 years, my son has once more succumbed to the horrid family destroying drug, and my family is once again split apart, at this moment I hate my son for causing this pain and then get upset cos a mothers love should be unconditional  shouldn't it? That's what I thought but not any more, here's hoping 2014 is a better year xx

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