mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli

for
families

We care, for the better.

A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

sign in

Sign in to make comments and contribute your own stories. Or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Sign In

Want to find a support group? Enter your postcode or town below to find a support group near you.

Find help

Share Your Story

cocaine destroyed my relationship

Posted by nitty on 24 January 2014.

It all started 3 1/2 years ago when I met my fiance an I fell in love, all was going well then I discovered he was on cocaine he was only taking it once a week an that was fine with me as each to there own as long as it didnt involve me as I dont touch it,  as time has gone on he lost his job at network rail cause he was always off to tired to go in or on a bender so he couldnt go in, when he lost his job he started getting depressed which started the drug taking more an more he started relying on me to give him the money he started taking money without me knowing this went on an on, now 2 years on it worse than ever he is on it 6 nights a week out of 7 he has mood swings he can get very angry which scares me he pesters me for money all the time he is working now but all his money an more goes on drugs alchol and gambling he wont help me with the bills or shopping,  I got bad depression through all of this an have nearly lost my own job I dont drink or take drugs never have an now I am living like this, I am depressed hurt lonely scared an dont know how to get away from this it hurts to much cause I do love him I just cant love his lifestyle I have asked him to stop or chose between me an the drugs but he chooses the drugs everytime,  if I dont get out of it soon I feel something bad will happen I want my life back, I wanna be me again, he is never going to change I know that now I thought I could change him fix him how stupid have I been

Comments

emmaj112000
28 Jan 2014

it easy to blame ourselves but it is the other persons choice and you cannot always have control of whom you fall in love with.  Have things improved?

T
31 Jan 2014

Hi, I feel exactly what you are saying I have been with my partner 10 years have 2 kids and my situation appears like yours. It's getting worse not better. He won't get help. All the money goes on alcohol, drugs and gambling. I really want out now. I have had a year out with my youngest and just come off antidepressants as I was so low. I can't say it will get better to you but I have been attending a local Adfam support group and it really helps to talk. I have stopped feeling guilty now as I know it is not my fault but I'm angry and resentful that I have let it go on so long, will he get help? Does he think he has a problem? Why does he do it? I have just given a time line and think I need to stick to it this time. The group offers info sessions as well. Check out if there is one near you. Honestly they are really helping me. Xx

T
31 Jan 2014

You are not stupid he has to take some responsibility for his actions. X

nitty
1 Mar 2014

He says heknows he has a problem but he is not willing to do anyhing about it, I have been on antidepressants myself nearly lost my job  because of it, this week alone he has wasted £700 on it all, he wont me with the house or bills he just sits in my kitchen every night ignoring me I have talked to him til I am blue in the face he wont listen he just says I love u what more do u want lol.... its a joke, I jist cant take anymore im scared my anger will take over one day an its so hard, I feelfor everyone in this situation im going to find help a group for myself I need to talk this angerout with someone, thanks for the comments they were much needed xx

You must be signed in to comment. To sign in, use the form to the right, or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Submit