We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Coping with stopping enabling my son
Posted by cmd on 23 August 2014.
My son is 31 and after many years of 'helping ' him through problems and crises, including major depression, suicide attempts and debts of all kinds I have had to admit he has serious addiction problems. After a very bad year last year I agreed that he stay with me until he got back on his feet on the condition that there could be no drugs here. For many years I was unaware of his drug use but became aware at that time that he had had problems for years. Last year it was heroin. He consented to therapy then after a hospital admission following a near fatal suicide attempt but after a while wouldn't continue. Two days ago I found drugs in his room and asked him to leave. he left very quietly - he has never been belligerent or angry. I have been seeing a therapist myself since the events of last year that shook me to the very core and that has been a great help. It has given me the strength to stop enabling him and a safe place to talk about how I feel. I no longer feel responsible and fully recognise only he can help himself. Having said all this, since he left I am so sad - on the one hand not knowing whether I will ever see him again - and I love him so much, and on the other fearing that he will ask to come back or get into a really bad state. There is a hole in my heart a million miles deep.
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