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Crystal Meth Robbed My Brother

Posted by HelplessSis on 2 December 2014.

I feel so alone and scared. I have tried numerous ways of trying to get help and support after my brother fell victim to addiction. But every time I reach out, we are just turned away. It saddens me so much to see that very little help and support is available for Crystal Meth addicts and their families in the UK.
My brother is my rock. He was the male father figure i never had. He was bright, intelligent, handsome as hell and many peoples best friend.
He lived a good life, travelling, having fun and partying. Our childhood wasnt great but we got through it. He had great jobs, successful. But everything changed when he started working for the police. He began experiencing homephobic bullying by a supervisor which he was strugglying tondeal with. Having already been disowned by his father(we have different dads) for being gay, our mother was also too ashamed to be proud of who my brother was. 
He soon began partying more in the London Gay Club scenes. A lot of his friends would take drugs, as did he. But it was a social thing. I still worried. Then domestic violence against him by his then boyfriend and bullying at work drove him to a secret life of constant drug taking.
Since 2008, he has been addicted to G. I dont know what else because I was too blind to see and help him after i gave birth to my child. He became more depressed, more drug and risk taking, sex parties and so on. He lost his job, got into a new relationship but started taking more and different drugs, mainly club drugs. Thats when we lost him. 
He changed so quickly, so dramatically. We had so many arguments, i had many rows with so called friends who were using and abusjng him. Many times i did and still do his shopping and cleaning. Weve fallen out,not spoken for ages. Long time friends kept their distance. I tried rehab, advice lines and support pages. He accidently overdosed on G which he died and thankfuilly was brough back to life wiith immediate resuscitation.  Yet he was one of many in the London Gay community suffering  life changing and crippling addictions trying to get help and support while faced with stigma, only to be unable to due to the lack of help available.
Its like because they are addicts, they dont deserve help and care. But my brother, is the most sweetest, caring, loving, gentle friend you could ever wish for. Last year,, i was shocked to discover some of his friends smoking crystal meth. Because of how bad that drug is, i knew he would never go down that line and be that stupid. If only, i could have spotted the signs before. I cant even biggen to describe how shocking and life altering crystal meth has been. What ive witnessed, seem him go through and suffer, is traumatising. I begged his frisnds he had partied with to help as it was terrifying to see the quick onset the drugs would have. But they just ignored me, then later told him, which would make him more annoyed.
He then was with addicts constantly.  We could no longer visit and stay at his like he use to. I got my mum to come over, only for her to be in denial. Every single day since his first accidental overdose, ive lived in fear and panic. Not only because more accidental overdoses but because of the risks and injurys he causes on himself when in that scary and shocking state of tweaking and going under. In one monthrecently, he accidently overdosed 3 times shile i was at his. Twice i gave his assistance. But what about all the other times? His friends dont care. But i swear to you, what happens when his taken too much G,crystal meth and methedrone after two days of not sleeping, is the most sureal and shocking thing ive ever seen. Despite this many of those social users, think nothing of it. Ive voice recorded a few occassions. I cant bring myself to listen.My GP is sympathetic but is unable to suggest anytyhing.
Things got worse recently when raided his home for drugs and found his drugs however due to the amount and what he had, police are trying to charge him with intent to supply. The station released him on bail to return next month. He has a solicitor but he still allows addicts to come to his. Ive tried getting him into rehab, tried kepping him away from triggers without luck. My mum refuses to take him back and put him in rehab. The one place that seemed good that could have helped him, only help those in the catchment area of Chelsea. 
Every day im terrified of the door knocking or phone ringing about my brtother. Ive tried taking him, arrangin or going along to a specialist group. But now im more worried than ever as his addictions contimie whi!e police investigate him. How can something so lethal change someone so badly? He was so health concious, so healthy. Hix brain cells have been replaced with that of something completely out of this world. And still, in this day and age, nearly 2015 in the UK, it seems impossible to find some sort of help amd suuport. Not one person ever imagined my brother to be part of CM, yet till this day those that know turned their backs on him.

Comments

Icarus Trust
3 Dec 2014

I'm so sorry that you feel so alone dealing with the pain and heartbreak that watching the effect of your brother's addiction is bringing you. You sound such a great sister.
Sadly lots of people are dealing  with the impact of addiction in their family and I'm really sorry that you don't feel that you have been supported. 
I wonder if you have considered getting in touch with The Icarus Trust, which is a charity that supports families and friends of addicts. We offer a free service and it might help to talk to one of our 'Family Friends'. These are trained volunteers who have all had experience of addiction in their families. One of these would listen to you and understand what you are going through. They could also signpost you to other help if you need it.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I really do hope that you will be able to get some help and support.
Good luck with everything.

AdfamAdmin
9 Dec 2014

Hi Helpless Sis
I'm sorry to hear about your troubled. There is a service called Antidote which works specifically with LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) drug users. They support lots of 'G' and crystal meth users and offer advice around sexual health. You can check them out here - http://londonfriend.org.uk/get-support/drugsandalcohol/

HelplessSis
11 Dec 2014

Thank you for your replies. I have tried encouraging my brother to attend Antidote but each time he shrugged it off, or said ok then would say he couldn't go.
He is on bail after police found his drugs in his home. He had more than he should of, chemsex, so they want to charge him with intent to supply. I am devastated. The thing  is, while he seems to be using less, I know when he lies, his still carrying on taking so much and those negative friends, still latching on to him, turning up at his high. I am so scared that the fear and worry is going to cause him more harm as his had many accidental overdoses. He tells me he has spoken to his local drug clinic but each time I ask how it went, he says his going the day after.
When the police arrested him, he was taken to hospital. A few days later the hospital phoned him asking to see him from the toxicology department. He went yesterday. He never lets me go with him. he recently had a scare after lump on his groin area. He was called back twice but he told me he got the all clear. 
He is so down. I asked about the toxicology app yesterday. He knew I was worried but he didn't even call me. Until at night. Saying it was just routine.

Please can you tell me is that normal procedure. The way he is being so close to Christmas, making such an effort and even getting a tree for the first time, like its going to be our last xmas together.

He hasn't told me much about the police incident. All I know is they found class a and b. As well as crystal meth, g, he uses methedrone, sleeping pills, Viagra and weed. 

The club drug clinic were lovely giving me advice but its so worrying and unfair that they cannot help him due to him not being in the catchment area. Out of everything I have read, The club drug clinic is the most suitable and experienced  clinic in which specialises in his situation due to the many things they deal with. I totally understand about the funding. But when someone overdoses at least 3 times in a matter of weeks and nearly dies, is covered in injuries, the dangers, yet no where else specialises in so many things in one place.
He is known in the Gay clubbing scene in London. He has nothing to be ashamed of. he still doesn't accept he needs rehab.

Icarus Trust
12 Dec 2014

Hi Helpless Sis,
Sadly there are no magic answers so hope that you will get in touch with our charity Icarus Trust. We have people there to support family and friends of addicts like yourself.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

Ruth95
3 Jan 2015

Hey, 
I completely relate to what you are saying, My boyfriend was a law graduate and working for hiscox when he was introduced to crystal. He became a heavy user of crystal meth and G for a year, he was also a very prominent part of the south London gay clubbing scene. 
And as you say I have never seen a drug like it. It destroys people and there brains in a terrifying way.
I remember being knelt on the floor with his head in my lap after an overdose on G in a run down lock up.  
I thought there was no saving him but I stuck by his side, to the point where both of us (originally being comfortable middle class people) ended up being homeless even though I never used I refused to leave him. I just kept believing and telling him I believed he could get better even when part of me really thought I couldn't save him. Even now 3 months into his abstinence recovery he still shows episodes of slight psychosis from how the drugs ruined his mind but these episodes are getting further and further apart and he is getting stronger. 
And is so appreciative and shows no signs of ever going back.
We moved out of London and cut all ties from anyone from our past.
It can happen people do get better

Ruth95
3 Jan 2015

But still not a day goes by that I can watch him walk out the door and not be terrified of him bumping into the wrong person or being offered something that will take everything we built together from us once again.

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