We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Posted by always parenting on 29 November 2015.
Hi I'm new here and have arrived at the point of wanting to reach out to others for support and advice. My 31yr old daughter has to my knowledge, probably since her early twenties been involved with drink and drugs. When she was in her last year of University she got involved with an intelligent guy who we later found was involved in drugs and was convicted having been found with a large quantity of drugs in his possession. Just before that they had a beautiful child together. Obviously we were devastated about the arrest and subsequent condition but tried to work through it supporting her at a difficult time. Anyway her behaviour deteriorated over time and although we had regular access to our granddaughter things became increasingly difficult, where we constantly were stepping on eggshells to avoid her inappropriate outbursts. For a time she lived with us when I virtually took over the care of her daughter but was actually quite relieved when she moved out. Time went by and she was up and down, appearing better and more collected but at others a mess. Her house became and is quite squalid. She also got into another relationship and things seemed a little better. She then had another daughter but that relationship has now broken down and things have spiralled again. In the midst of this her original partner was released from prison (about 3 years ago) who we are in contact with and who seems to have cleaned up and has a normal life. He is appalled at the way my daughter lives and feels as helpless as I do. Suggesting reasonable conversations as so many help lines do, is of no use here as my daughter will not talk, just explodes and reacts. I have long come to the conclusion that my daughter is an adult and while we are willing to help we cannot fix her life for her. My biggest concern is for my 2 innocent and beautiful granddaughters living in this awful place with whatever is going on there. I don't know what to do. I know she has been known to social services in the past but don't know to what degree however I cannot believe that this situation would be condoned. Once when I questioned my daughter she cut off any contact for 9 months. I don't feel this is of any help to my granddaughters as we love the dearly and feel contact with us is so important to them. How have others coped with similar situations? Thanks for listening
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