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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Do they ever change?

Posted by Emmalou2394 on 28 January 2017.

Im 22 years old and have watched my 26 year old brother grow up addicted to weed for the past 12 years. Through the years he has been abusive phsycially and mentally with numerous police calls and arrests. My mum has tryed to help him for the past 10 years but everytime she kicks him out she feels sorry for him, not knowing where he is and lets him back him. I resent some of her decisions as it wasnt safe for me growing up in this house with him. He thinks society owes him and he doesnt work or even want to claim benefits, he last worked 10years ago! He has serious mental health problems but thinks he is ok and doesnt need help because its everybody else at fault....not him. The final straw came the other day when he catapulted a ball bearing threw my bedroom window and shattered the window leaving me frightened, he admitted to the police that he did this deliberatly. He will attend court soon and have a restraining order put in place. I fear my mum will break it and let him back in as she has done in the past. I want him to realise he needs help and understand what he has put me and my mum through mentally and physically. I just dont no if this will ever stop, its a vicous circle and i dont no what will happen! Do they ever change?


Icarus Trust
30 Jan 2017

Thank you for sharing your story Emmalou. What an awful frightening time you have been having. I'm so sorry. 
If you think it would help you please contact The Icarus Trust as we are a charity that supports people in similar position to yourself, dealing with the impact of another's addiction. We offer a free service called 'family Friends'. These are our experienced trained volunteers who you could be put in touch with. Talking with one of them might help you to make sense of things.
You can contact us on or visit the website
All the very best.

1 Apr 2017

This post scares me only because it rings home so older brother has mental health issues and sadly i diagnose him with it because he wont get help. Constantly asking him to see someone, its always someone elses fault not his. My mum blames herself, but for what? Protecting him more, giving him more, all because he feels its his right she pays for him. Mehhhh fed up of trying to get through to them

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