We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Don't know what to do...
Posted by Lauren09 on 19 April 2014.
Hi, this is my first time posting as I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I found out last year that my partner of 9 years was addicted to cocaine. Our relationship had been up & down for a while & I was struggling to understand what was going on with him. He would stay up all night, sleep most of the day. He had horrific mood swings. Things would go from being great to awful. I thought he was suffering from depression. It's only when things really hit rock bottom that I turned to his parents. He finally confessed to his mum of his problem. He had racked up about £70,000 in debt, fooled me into getting a £20,000 loan in joint names which I thought was to consolidate his credit cards from a previous debt when he bought his first home. He had pay day loans after him & numerous debt letters & no money to pay them all. We almost lost everything..... And my world around me had collapsed. We have 2 young children together, my son was only 6 months when I found out. Initially I was shocked, didn't quite believe it. Part of me felt relieved that I finally knew what was wrong with him. Then it sank in... I felt like a fool, hurt, stupid I hadn't noticed, angry with what he had done... He admitted he thought he was going to die from it. The addiction was out of control. Our home, everything was on the line. I couldn't believe what he had done. I decided to stand by him... For the sake of the children & because I love him. He went to some meetings, we sorted the debt out. His behaviour the way he looked everything changed for the good. Then he stopped going to the meetings, he swore he would never touch the stuff again. He said the meetings weren't helping him & that he had it under control. I kept an eye on his finances, questioning any but of money that he took out. I trusted him to a certain degree... But something told me he was completely over it. Then last night he went out with some friends. I was suspicious and checked his wallet.... I pulled out his bank card and found residues of coke. I confronted him straight away and he denied doing it..... Still denying now which is beyond ridiculous when I've seen it with my own eyes!! But now... I don't know what to do, who to turn to?? His not admitting he's relapsed so part of me thinks his not really admitting that his got his problem under control ! I want to tell his mum but their relationship is strained already with everything his done & they don't get on. I feel like I'm on my own dealing with this & no idea what I can do to stop him or help him!!! If anyone can help or has any advice please share. I feel so alone & confused with what to do. X
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