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Posted by TEDDY on 8 January 2015.

Im a 32 year old women with 3 children that I love with all my heart iv been useing alcohol and drugs since I was 12 years old due to circumstances in my life, as I got older I was with drawn and shy I felt that I wasnt good enough for people to like me and felt suicidal on times so I used more alcohol and drugs to give me the  confidence I needed to have friend ,but of course the friends I have had problems to I was permiscuuse and at 15 left home to live with a 22 year old that just wanted to drink and use drugs to aswell as beatinging me on a regular bases.  I was so down and everything was escalating so I went to a new doctor and he made  a conection with othere symptoms I had over the years and diagnossed me with anxiety and depression and all so addressed the alcoholism and started treating me with meds and seeing a psychiatric team.It really helped at last I wasnt just being seen as a rebellious teen. 
 finel I met a man when I was 17 that gave me what I needed I felt that he loved me and that he was going to be good to me so I left my partner  but not before he gave me one last beating , but this time I had him arrested and he went down . But the man I had fallen for was a friend of a friend and of course was in to drugs to . saying that we married and had 3 kids .On and off over the years I relapsed and had my meds and diagnosis changed know the say its bipolar disorder but  6 years ago I used herrion again and not to get high I had tooth ack for 3 days and  I hadn't eat sleeped I was in terrible pain and my partner felt sorry for me and gave me some as he was all ready smoking herrion. After that I had a habit and a bad one at the time my father had got ill and was dieing it made it so easy to jest forget how much pain I was in  . My father asked me to get help before he died so I did he died and I was still clean after 4 and a half years .but know I have been prescribed pain killers for arthritic pain I know im adicted but I cant get help like the last time because my oldest son has mental health problems and we have a social worker im afraid that they will take them away from me and that would kill me because I love them so much I fell sometime s they are my only reason for living and I dont want to be looked at like im a bad mother because that isnt the case what can I do because things have not been keeped confidential in the past when iv tryed to get help

Comments

Icarus Trust
9 Jan 2015

Hi,
The Icarus Trust is a charity which supports people around addiction. We have trained volunteers who you could talk to in complete confidence. This might help you to find a way ahead. If you would like to be put in touch with one of our 'Famiiy Friends' who have all had experience of addiction in their families then please get in touch.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.

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