We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Drug addiction has affected my life for so long
Posted by JANE2504 on 24 August 2014.
I'm 50 years old. I've never taken drugs and I've never drank to excess yet drug addiction has affected my whole life. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was nearly 10 years older. I had 4 children with him and divorced him 17 years ago now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and when I look back I can see all the signs of his addiction and self destruct course clearly. In reality it was years and 4 children in until I started to become aware. I was so naive, I had never met anyone who took drugs (to my knowledge) and I grew up in blissful ignorance. When I realised he had a problem it was with painkillers and I tried to help thinking he was a good father. I stuck by him even after he advanced from pain relief to methadone and eventually heroin. All the time thinking that no one knew and he was a great dad. There came the time I mostly withdrew and lived in my bedroom as I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. The times he was obviously under the influence but he would get on his bended knees and beg and cry and promise on the lives of his children he had taken nothing. I doubted myself every time. Even when I found needles in his clothes I stupidly doubted myself when he cried and promised they were not his. Eventually he did something so bad I ended it and even reported him to the police and he was put in jail for 3 months. All my children were teenagers by then and so embarrassed by their father. Today, 17 years on I am still watching drugs destroy my family. As each of my 3 eldest children left home and made new families their father has latched on to each one, one at a time. Moving in, causing problems in their relationships and then giving them (my daughters) drugs to 'help' with their depression when their relationships break up under the strain. I have had to call in social services so many times to protect my grandchildren. Today, my eldest daughter is struggling with an addiction to methadone while her 5 children (the last another baby born addicted), the middle, a methadone addict still and the third who took so much pride in her little family, alone and her son living with his dad this last 6 years and no one in the family allowed to see him again. I try to help but struggle to understand how people can chose drugs over their children. My eldest daughter looks likely to lose her family soon as her partner struggles to do what I did long ago. This mail will sound such a ramble. I even moved away so I didn't have to see what was happening. Its hard to stand by and do nothing and watch your grandchildren being brought up with addicts. I probably sound so selfish. But I just don't know what to do any-more. Its like addiction has been my whole life yet I've never been addicted or even tried anything. I am a professional woman who has focussed on learning and advancing myself (I left school with no qualifications) in order to be able to concentrate on something as I feel I would be swallowed up by all this if I stopped. I would give anything for my children but I cant stand by and watch what they do to themselves and their children. I really don't know what to do anymore.
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