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drugs, money, drugs, money..............

Posted by scanners on 18 August 2014.

Tonight I came on here for 1st time and im not alone after all, reading all your stories, some are the double of my life at this present time.where to start? Its been going on for 10years! I have spent thousands! Getting him out of debt with drug dealers, I work full time but my wage packet has his name on it! He kicks off, bullies me, blackmails me, he plays mind games with me, harrasses me constantly for money to buy cannabis and now cocaine. When he has them he is a soft puppy, when he does, nt he is an evil and vicious man.i need help to face this bully, I try and keep him sweet out of fear, scared of my own son! How did it get to this.im seeing a solicitor in the morning after another call out to the police again, they dont seem to help me, they give all the advice and then let you get on with it, I have to be strong, I have had enough, ive been saying that for years too.my daughter even stays away with my grandson! Nobody comes to see me any more when he is here, I think where will he go? Do I care? Of course I care, but I cant take no more of this, I will end up in a box,ahhh peace........ no more sleepless nights worrying if I have enough money for his habit. He cant seem to grasp when I say I dont have it! He kicks off then, smashing things, shouting, he is a jekyll and hyde.so tomorrow is a new day, going to talk to a solicitor about an injunction, I know he will break it, but so be it, I have to be strong and do this.im fed up with paying out my hard earned money on drugs, I need a pair of shoes and ive seen just the pair!!  Xxx

Comments

charlene
18 Aug 2014

hi hun my partner is an amphetamine and heroin user and cocodamol when he cant get any of these drugs he trys to bully me for alcohol or my painkillers that i use for migraines i always have to be nasty and firm with him other wise he would totaly abuse me its the only way hun at the miniute my partner is liveing with me on tag but he had a drug bindge at the weekend he has breached his tag and probation yet again and i no it sounds bad but he is due at court on the 19th and im hopeing he gets locked up so i can live normaly

charlene
18 Aug 2014

dont let your guard down and be firm with him its the only way hun xx

Mr. good reasons
18 Aug 2014

If I could have taken all the money I have spent engaging in egotistically driven behaviors I would have had a Rolls-Royce by now. Craig A.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
19 Aug 2014

Do it, ...what parents of addicts forget to do is take care of themselves and their health..Addicts will grind you down, and your life is never the same...living on fear is wrong......I withdrew everything from my son..I stopped enabling him, and stopped all contact...It was the only way I could get through the day...Its hard, and as a mother I want to make things right....that just cant happen, cause the only person to make things right is the addict...and until they want the help, then there is nothing we as parents can do.....Take care of yourself hunni, and believe it or not what you are doing will help your son in the long run..cause once they reach rock bottom the only way is up.....hugs xxx

derekb
20 Aug 2014

There are no magic answers not even right or wrong ways to cope with this sort of situation. There is, however, lots of help available that can guide you forward. Sometimes you just need to chat with somebody that knows where to find that help and be there for you. Please let us, at the Icarus Trust help, we have trained Family Friends waiting to listen to you and help you to find the support you need. Contact us through our website www.icarustrust.org or just send an email to help@icarustrust.org. It is confidential and there are no catches.

derekb
20 Aug 2014

There are no magic answers not even right or wrong ways to cope with this sort of situation. There is, however, lots of help available that can guide you forward. Sometimes you just need to chat with somebody that knows where to find that help and be there for you. Please let us, at the Icarus Trust help, we have trained Family Friends waiting to listen to you and help you to find the support you need. Contact us through our website www.icarustrust.org or just send an email to help@icarustrust.org. It is confidential and there are no catches.

maddie
20 Aug 2014

i feel you could be talking about me. my son is the same only now he no longer lives with me but he will still try to wear me down.i have took the step of cutting all ties and changed my phone number.its time to look after me and the rest of my family.he been offered help many times but decided not to take it.its hard but we got to stay strong.good luck x

scanners
21 Aug 2014

The light is off and im sitting in darkness at my daughters, the last few days have been bliss as my son went to his dads, however he is not as soft as me and told him how it was!, that was it, I got a phone call demanding a ticket home and NOW! My injunction is not being heard in court for another couple days, so like a battered wife I agreed for him to come home, my daughter went crazy and I told her I could not do this on my own, so she told me to go to hers and sit it out, I knew he would ring for me as he had no key, no money and he needed his fix! Im shaking as he has rang about 10 times demanding I speak with him, he only wants money from me, she is so brave and has told him " she is my mum too and yr not speaking to her" what a girl, I feel safe. He is out on the streets tonight, I do worry about him but what can I do, I just want him to not be a bully to me, he talks to his sister the same way but she is so much stronger, he has threatened to come smash the windows, we have phoned the police but he has not shown up. Its me he wants, just wants to talk to me, its the first time I have said NO! He does not like it and its making him angry,Ihave allways given in before.god bless everyone, thank you for your kind words, I will keep going over in my head all the positive replies and advice. Xxxx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
22 Aug 2014

Please seek some support too..There are many parents groups out there....One thing I can tell you, every professional group out there has given me the same advice...stop enabling them.......

scanners
22 Aug 2014

Thank you cant take no more, im trying to be strong, my son has that hold over me, its the longest I have gone without giving him any money, 5 days! He hates me, and will hate me more when they deliver his injunction. I was in court this morning, so its done now and its up to him.he has been constantly ringing my daughter for money, telling her to put me on the phone, I dont think I have eaten properly for 4 days, its such a mess, I cant stop crying, im forever turning the lights off so it looks like no one is home, every car that stops outside my heart beats so fast, what the hell is my son doing to me, im a strong woman,well to every one else I seem to be, but my son breaks me! He scares the life out of me, and the saddest thing if he does come round or even down the road, he will be breaking the court rules and will be arrested and could go to prison! That is something I cant get my head around, I want some help for him to stop the smoking of cannabis, I have been looking on line for some help groups, as well as some help for my self. We did have a family group session when he was younger but now he is an adult and he needs 121. Big hugs everyone, I will say this, coming on here has helped me, I read all the blogs and in some, the story is my story. Xxx

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