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feel so alone tonight ....

Posted by Franticmum on 26 June 2014.

Its 2:30 am and Im laid in bed struggling to sleep, cant switch my mind off tonight, not heard even a whisper from my son, I usually say ... no news is good news .... but not in this case  I feel in a no win situation, he chose drugs over family and we have all said we want no part in his world of lying stealing etc, but im finding it so so hard this is the longest he has been out of touch for over 8 years and that was when he hit rock bottom, on the streets with no money or a bed to sleep in, I just cant get my head around him going back to those times, why when he has had so much help, surely being a part of a loving family is a big enough reason to not go back, Im waffling on asking questions that have no answers but I need to try to get these horrid thoughts out of my head or I will go mad, at least on here no one judges or looks down at me simply for being a mum of an addict, I have always tried my best to be a good mum, I brought my boys up to know right from wrong and but sadly one of them chose the wrong path and now we are suffering the consequences, one thing I will say before ending, if anyone reading this post has just found out that a loved one is an addict please dont let your heart rule your head, trust your gut instinct its usually right, be strong and never enable them cos they will use and abuse your love whilst in the grip of addiction, be strong and say no, and you never know they just might listen.

I will pray for all the families suffering tonight and send big cyber hugs to two special ladies Fiona and Susie I hope you are both keeping strong take care hunnies

love Sue Xxxxxx

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
26 Jun 2014

Hi Sue....never a truer word said hunny....Its so hard for all us loved ones, watching them makes such desperate decisions, that not only impact on their lives but ours too...I really hope you hear something soon...My son gets out next Friday...and I have written the most truthful letter ever..warts and all...I thought he would be mad,not ring, but ive just got off the phone from him, and he says everything I put was true...He isnt angry with me, just sad that he put us all through the misery..Im not sure what will happen once he is back to the real world, but at the moment he is still positive and says he will continue with the counselling, and go back to see if he can get antibuse....Im praying for all our children...there has to be a light at the end of our tunnel some time soon.....hugs to you Sue, and all the other parents who live this hell xxxx

fifi65
28 Jun 2014

And a big hug, right back at you Sue!!! Them wee small hour's and how you have described how you are feeling, were the worst time's for me. That no win situation is the one, because we have said, "enough is enough" and think we're taking control by asking them to leave our live's until they have changed there way's, and for a little while when they leave us a lone we get some peace. As time goes on, I know for me, that's when the torture begin's again..Once again for my own sanity I would have to go looking for him.. Very cruel this world of addiction.. Love and Hope is all we have xxxx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
28 Jun 2014

Hey Fi, how are you hunni and how is your son??? Sending love and hugs xx

fifi65
30 Jun 2014

Hi Susie, all good thank's hun..Been to see my lad today, he look's great.. why doe's it take for them to have to go to prison to look well : ( Your boy will be home soon, I truly hope he stay's clean, for his sake and your's.. everything crossed for you xx He has not been sentenced yet, but shouldn't be to long now, whatever it maybe, I have to look at it as It has saved his life.. I think I can cope with it better that way..Took my 85yr old mam with me, he gave his lovely nana lot's of kisses and hug's and she gave him a good old ear bashing lol.. take care hun, xxx

fifi65
30 Jun 2014

Hi Sue, How are you? hope your coping.. Any word from your son? stay strong lovely lady sending big hug's xxx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
2 Jul 2014

Hey fifi, as hard and sad as it sounds I'm so glad that prison has bought your beloved son back to you...had a bad day today....worrying about what is in store when he gets out...I know it's down to him, and for the time being he is really positive, but as you know, that can change anytime....I just want to say stay strong, you ladies have been my life line...in the small hours when I wake in sheer panic, I know that you ladies have given me my sanity back.....I hope you hear from your son soon Sue, and fi I hope your son continues getting well, and gets some help inside....luv n hugs to you both and all the other wonderful parents, brothers, sisters on here who continue to show love, empathy, and support xxxx

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