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Feelin alone, guilty and fearfull

Posted by Lucy on 24 April 2014.

My partner has smoked heroin on n off for 15years ive been with him 6years n asked him to leave again tonyt n altho im pretty much numb to him relapsing or his lies etc after years together it has got me tonyt n im feelin so low i feel guilt that i no he will not eat properly for another week i feel fearful of letting go and how bad he myt get after noin how bad he  can get n fearful for me of bein without him he has been a big part of our life i still love him but it has brought me to my knees over the years n tho im alot stronger mentally today i just wish this nytmare would end i pray one day he will b clean he has tried he really has n the demons return everytym i cant go thru his addiction for much longer i no i cant

Comments

dee0739
28 Apr 2014

I'm in a similar situation. Its so hard because u love them and u r so use to them being there. But u lose yourself because u go without trying to make sure they r okay.I really don't know what to tell u but ask God to guide u in the right direction.

Lucy
28 Apr 2014

Im going to pray for him for myself n for my children its about the only thing left to do. Ur right u have to put urself first after so long bcoz the only person we can change is ourselves n ive finally learnt that but even tho now i can tell him to go and mean it and feel strong most of the time about focusing on myself n my kids i still have days where im lost with it where i feel a mixture of emotions about the years spent together and still feel guilt and heartache wen i no i have to put boundaries down it still crushes me to see the rapid change in him weni no he has relapsed and i still feel fear over cutting him out completely which is why i never have..he is pretty much all ive got and vice versa

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