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Fiancé in residential alcohol detoxification

Posted by Hana on 18 May 2015.

Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone out there has had or has a partner in a residential detox facility and can provide some support and advice.
My fiancé has been in detox for 2 weeks and is likely to be there for 12 weeks. We are allowed a phone call every other day but I'm not allowed to see him for 4 weeks. I have contacted the head office of the facility in regards to why I cannot visit... I am a positive influence for his recovery, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I'm willing to be searched... I am studying a masters in psychiatry specialising in addictions and I have seen no where about it being a positive thing to keep a resident away from their doting partner.. I've tried to talk to the facility but keep getting told its 'the rules' but surely everyone should be assessed as individuals and not have one rule for all?
Does anyone have any experiences of visiting family members in residential detox facilities? Does anyone have any advice for me? I have little sanity left due to this constant battle


20 May 2015

Hi Hana, I was so pleased to read that your partner was receiving the treatment he must have sort. You are so fortunate that he's willing to do this, because he needs to learn how to love, like and live with his addiction. This is his journey of discovery and you will end up with someone stronger and capable of living a positive life. This is when he will really need you. Believe me our family would love to be where you are now. So please be strong and prepare yourself for your new beginning. G

24 May 2015


My husband went into a detox facility and i couldn't  believe, how isolating it was for me. All i relied upon was his phone call, when i visited, nobody wanted to speak to me about my husband and when he finished, i collected him at the door. Nobody gave me advice about what to do and what to expect. To be honest the whole experience shows that is there is lots of help for our partners but not us.

It is really strange, so it not just you,it seems to be the norm 


Icarus Trust
31 May 2015

Hi Hana and Mitch
Its very sad that you feel that you are not supported. 
The Icarus Trust is a charity that has been set up help people like yourselves who are affected by another's addiction. We have experienced  trained volunteers who you could be put in touch with that might  be able to help you. 
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that if you make contact that you find it useful. Good luck with everything!

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