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Furious and scared for my brothers future....and the effect on my mum

Posted by DKWTD on 6 August 2015.

My brother is in his 40s and has had issues for years, I think he has ADHD and this underlies his drug problems. For years he has had problems with aggression, never being able to settle in a job. He's been living back my parents house for the last few years and they are endlessly supportive. He had a lot of problems with excessive use of crystal meth which impacted hugely on his and my parents lives, ending up with him being arrested last year for assulting a paramedic after he had collapsed after a meth weekend and in a different incident assaulting my Dad. This seemed to bring him to his senses and he said he would stop using meth, which I think he did and his life got back on track. Well.....he must have been on a binge at the weekend and collapsed Sunday night and was taken to hospital. The hospital called to say he was unconscious but they didn't know why, my mum and I went to see him yesterday. I was really worried about him until he said he'd been on a binge, refused to tell the doctors what he'd been doing. Have to confess I was furious with his arrogant attitude and refusal to admit he's got a problem, also thought the doctors needed to know so told the doctor he'd had drug issues. As a result of this he threw me out of the room and has now convinced himself I've ruined his future...I beg to differ! I am really worried about the effect all this is having on my parents, they're in their 70s and should be enjoying their retirement, not having their lives controlled by him, my mum is now talking about not going on holiday next week as its when he's on his own at theirs he goes on binges. Any advise on how to get my mum to get some support, she won't talk to anybody about it as she feels ashamed and thinks it's all her fault. At the moment I've given up on my brother as I'll only see him when he's not having drug issues and he refuses to get any outside help. Thanks for listening.

Comments

LAUMAR134
29 Aug 2015

Hi, I noticed your story as I really can relate. I too have a brother who is 12 years older than me, yet has a huge problem with alcoholism. He has never moved out of our family home and I worry for my parents as they're reaching retirement age. My brother is showing no signs of reaching out for help or calming down. I am moving city next year but so scared to in case he hurts our parents. He has just broken my dads rib in a drunken rage and I'm at my wits end. Sorry for the rant, it's just rare to find a similar story with the addiction problem belonging to a sibling rather than a parent. I really hope all works out for you.

Asibling
10 Jun 2016

Thank you for sharing your story.

It seems there are few services and research done considering the experience of family members, in particular siblings. That is why I am conducting a research project looking at the narratives of siblings, encouraging others like you to share their experiences. If you wish to participate and share your story or would like more information please contact me at u1422721@uel.ac.uk. Thank you.

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