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Having a really tough time

Posted by concerned mum on 12 April 2014.

Im back again for another rant....Its been a difficult day...the dreaded weekend again...My son has text me today to ask me to lend him sixty quid till thursday...I have been feeding him all week as he has had no money or food and dont get paid till thursday...

Today as expected saturday and he wants to get smashed ...he is saying he owes money and needs food...I ve told him I havent got it and all ive had for the last hour is life is sxxxt (sorry) i dont want to live... i dont understand him etc etc.....I am really struggling

Comments

JCW
12 Apr 2014

this is so difficult they say they want money for food of bus fare to get to work but do they my daughter is trying to get off drug addiction she is ok mfor a while but admits when she gets stressed out she starts takeing again. I gave her £20 to day for food I know i will never get it back but is it really going on food or something else she also pauwns things to get money but the money she is getting she should be able to manage

JCW
12 Apr 2014

my husband is an alcoholic but in denile. About two years ago i got him into hospital because he started to see things this really frightened me. he was in hospital for weeks and he then acepted he was an alcoholic. He took all the tablets they gave him he decided to drink none alcohol bear but then he went on to other things he drinks brandy as well as beer. He hides it all over the house he is now in denile. I have told his sons they came emptied all the bottles down the sink but of course it makes no differents.

JCW
12 Apr 2014

following the above comment. my husband is a good man he will do anything for anyone he is ok during the day but as evenning draws in his charictor changes he becomes verbly agresive. he alwaqys goes to bed before me know if we go at the same time he says thing to cause a row then i cannot sleep after. the other evenning i heard him pacing up and down the bedroom floor i am worried incase he is seeing things again is memory is also being afected by the drink i dont know what to do we are both in our 70s i really dont need this worry it is afecting my own health what can i do

concerned mum
12 Apr 2014

Hi JCW sorry to hear ur siut tuation...its horrible i know..It too is affecting my health...I am currently signed off work with anxiety and depression and try really hard to stay focused as i have a toddler to take care of ....but my nineteen year old is really wearing me out...its the constant lies, feeling sorry for themselves, the abuse when they dont get their own way constantly blowing their money then threatening suicide when dont get money its horrible.  drug dealers need hanging its destroying my family

CANT TAKE NO MORE
12 Apr 2014

The biggest thing here is the manipulation.....ive read and re read other parents say exactly the same thing. My son has said it in the past... Please please please, start thinking about your own well being... I dont give my son a penny and havent for around 6 months.....Yesterday i took him 2 bags of shopping round..(hes staying with his ex)....Drugs are the evilest thing in this world, they change peoples characters, make them lie, cheat, steal.....come on concerned mum, you can get through this..DONT give up...dont give in, and dont be part of his lying....massive hugs xxxxx

concerned mum
12 Apr 2014

Thank you im bawling my eyes out as i right this...problem is my son is squatting so cant take him food to cook...feel terible that he is in this situation but i had to involve social services some years ago because of risks he was imposing on his then baby brother....they assisted him get his own flat because he was under eighteen he never paiid any bills no water no gas no electri council tax etc etc all he had to do was buy food from his benefits...the place they give him was fully furnished and everyone rallied round to get him set up.....it turned into a drug den...its trashed and he has been evicted because now he is over eighteen there is no obligation from social services to assist him...am worried sick about him ....he still blows all his money and comes to me for food and constantly gives me grief blaming me for the fact he is homeless....excuse the expression but i feel like shit....I feel like i had to choose between him and keeping his baby bro safe and although i know what i did was right its still horrible

CANT TAKE NO MORE
13 Apr 2014

Aww bless, its difficult......we want whats best for our kids...I have found it so much better for my health since I told my son I would have no part of his life,and didnt want him bringing it our door..he is more than welcome to come when hes not on anything and last Saturday was a prime example of us telling him to leave..he didnt like it, but he knew and left......I love my son, but I WILL NOT give in to his manipulation, lies and deceit.....Dont get me wrong its hard, but he is an adult, and he makes his choices.....I just choose not to be part of that!!!!!! He can blame you forever more luv, but the only person to blame is HIMSELF.......

JCW
6 Mar 2015

Well since my last post in July I was diagnosed with cancer I had my operation during this time I was confined to my room to rest my husband really looked after me .but after a while he started drinking again. When my treatment came to an end my husband was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder we could not believe that both of us had cancer. He had the operation he had to go  for chemo the doctor went mad at him for drinking he said because of his drinking they could only risk a little chemo but they said he must not drink at all before or during or after treatment.his treatment Finnish four weeks ago heis suffering side effects of his treatment I was so proud of him not drinking as I thought. On Wednesday night of this week I was letting the dog out and he had put a walking stuck near the door near the back of my dryer I thought this strange so I got a torch to investigate there it was a brandy bottle he had purchased that afternoon nearly all gone. I really do not know what to do . Shall I confront him or should I wait until another bottle appears imam really worried he looks awful going to bed at 5 pm not feeling right no wonder his treatment is still working so how will the drink effect it now

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