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Hayley’s Story

Posted by Rosemary on 21 March 2018.

My daughter was born in 1980 a bright child who struggled at school with ADHD got into difficulty with drugs at about 16. Her son Luke is 21 this year and her daughter is 16 and is fostered with a family. Hayley’s drug addiction worsened and gave birth to her daughter under the influence of heroin. Hayley was abused by a gang who drugged her and held her captive. For many years her father myself her Mum and her elder sister have supported her throughout some terrible times sleeping rough drug dens and severe liver damage causing her to be referred to a hospice. She has been in several abusive relationships leading to many hospitals admissions she now has seizures due to liver toxicity and has the body of an 80 year old with leg ulcers and many other ill health problems. This is just part of her story. Recently we as a family have stepped back from constantly rushing to her aid which over the years meant giving her money new clothes and a roof over her head which she abuses,steals and breaks reasonable ground rules ie staying out all night. It breaks my heart to 
‘ leave her to it’ and I fear it may be the last time I will see her alive and dread the knock on the door. I feel constant guilt and wish that her life could of been different.

Comments

Verarose
22 Mar 2018

Rosemary. I can relate to you. My Son has been using since he was 15 now he is 40. I have constantly supported him With money thousands of pounds and also when he was in prison because of his addiction and stole and owed drug suppliers and then he was tell me he needed the money to get to meetings or rent I have been so gullible and believed everything he said as he sounded so convincing. He has has so much help from case workers etc. Latest he has come out of prison and was getting help again from case work to get him B&B and I bought him a mobile so he could keep in touch with probation.  He had drug dealers after him for money he owed then which he did then had no more money in bank .So he rang and asked for money which again I did for traveling to meeting and probation. And now no contact his phone not working and his supporters can’t get in touch So he has bugged it all up AGAIN!  So like you I have come to reality that no matter what I do it just fuels his addiction.And if he get in touch I will be saying No! To anymore demands. Like you you have to step back from it all even when it breaks my heart . He most probably back in Prison as not turning up for probation so having a arrest out for him he is in London . He had help in rehab for a year and he was brilliant and sounded so happy and well now he is like a walking skeleton and to think he will be constantly in. And out of prison until his body gives out. Like you will feel guilty but I have got to be strong and know I have done all I can .The demon in him is stronger then I am ,and I can’t fright it anymore .Blessings to you and stay strong , I am slowly finding my new strength 😢

Icarus Trust
27 Mar 2018

Hi Rosemary,

Thank you for posting your story and sharing how you feel about your daughter's addiction. It is a very strong thing to do to stop enabling her and you might wish to talk with people who could give you some support. 
The Icarus Trust is a charity that provides support for people like yourself who are having to deal with the awful impact of a family member's drug addiction on yourself and the rest of the family.
We have a team of trained and experienced people who would understand what you are going through and might help you to make sense of how you are feeling.
If you feel it would help please get in touch. You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.

sherry
31 Mar 2018

Hi Rosemary  my daughter to was born in 1980 to.
Herion and crack have taken my daughter. 
I have also had to let her go my guilt is overwhelming and I have had to seek help so this addiction does not destroy me to. 
I feel your pain and I know the loss .I wish you peace .

sherry
31 Mar 2018

Hi Rosemary  my daughter to was born in 1980 to.
Herion and crack have taken my daughter. 
I have also had to let her go my guilt is overwhelming and I have had to seek help so this addiction does not destroy me to. 
I feel your pain and I know the loss .I wish you peace .

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