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Heart Broken & Depressed

Posted by Panda on 18 October 2016.

Hello,
I would like to share my story, hopefully someone here can relate and i can move forward in my life without feeling hate and resentment towards my now ex boyfriend of 2 years and his family..well his Mother who I once had the utmost respect for, but now it's lost. My boyfriend and I was very much in love, we were great friends for 6 months before we got together, he lived at mine for a year as his Mother chucked him out, for reasons I did not know but know now. My boyfriend had a very bad drinking problem, he would drink every evening, though he was a happy drunk if that makes sense, not violent, he then started going back onto coke cane (which I did not know he had a previously addiction too) he would go missing for days and I would worry about his constantly, telling him he must stop or at least cut down as his Dad was an alcoholic and died from it. Anyhow things got SO bad I thought he was going to die from an overdose, I persuaded him to go to rehab for 28 days, he said he would but would again go missing for days of his head..it started effecting me as i was anxious, nervous and worrying all the time, I would worry at work. I eventually made the decision to  call his family and tell them he had to go to rehab as I'm terrified he is going to OD. So he went to the Sanctuary for 28 days...We would talk, i thought i would be able to visit but he didn't want me to..this started upsetting me and at the time i didn't realise I was getting depressed. I was excited seeing him after rehab, I was going to fully support him with his sobriety, but when he came out, he met up with me and dumped me out of the blue! I did not understand why, i was so utterly confused and devastated, I had and am still going through therapy as it effected me a lot,when he would come to collect his things from mine he would be so arrogant and say I'm negative, we would argue as i would ask 'why are you being so horrible to me, why didn't your family persuade you to go to rehab when they knew you had a problem???' Now i know why your Mother chucked you out! he was like 'what do you want to a medal for persuading me to go to rehab?' I would say not at all that decision came from you eventually, but YOU and your Family are completely ignoring me, never a how are you form them, when his friends would ask, I don't expect a thank you but I at least deserve to be treated wit some respect...I had to tell him due to his and his Mother's actions I had to see a councillor because i was depressed...how ironic is that you help out someone you love and in the end your seeing a therapist? His Mother blanks my texts when I cant get hold of him to let him know he still has left some stuff at mine..it hurts what did I do wrong, i was never brought up like that,manners and respect is what I was brought up on. So my therapist told me to look up' alco anon' try go to meetings as it helps not only family's but friends and girlfriends or ex in my case, that's how I came across this site and telling my story as I feel such heartache, betrayal and resentment toward him and his Mother especially when SHE knew plus his brother and sisters he was an addict and did NOTHING, yet I'm seeing a councillor. Sometimes i have such hatred in me i sometime wish I never called his family and persuaded him to go to rehab ...I am hurt and devastated that much...but i know he'd be dead already. I wish my pain and these thoughts and feeling would go away and I'm trying m best as I'm not the type of person to usually think these things or feel this way. I don't know if someone here can explain? I still don't get it, but trying to move on in my life. Thanks for reading this if you have and thank yu for letting me share my story.

Comments

Adfam Administrator
20 Oct 2016

Hi there,

Thanks for posting. We are very sorry to hear about your issues, it sounds like you've got a huge amount of things to deal with.

Families Anonymous run a national helpline which you may find useful, and specialise in supporting families and friends affected by substance use - 0845 1200 660.

If you ever feel like you just need to talk to someone and share what you are going through you can call the Samaritans at any time on 08457 90 90 90.

Wishing you all the best,

Adfam

Panda
20 Oct 2016

Thank you for reading my story, I will try these numbers you sent me.
Wishing you all the best too
Panda

Icarus Trust
31 Oct 2016

Hi,

I'm so sorry to read your story and how hurt you must feel.

Please contact The Icarus Trust If you feel it would be helpful. We are a charity that supports the friends and family who are affected by the addiction of a loved one. We have experienced trained volunteers called family friends who you could talk with. They would understand what you are dealing with. May be that would help you to make sense of how you are feeling.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

Good luck with everything.

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