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Heartbroken mum :(

Posted by Andys mum on 22 May 2014.

My son who's 17 has relapsed once again :( I paid for him to go to wales for a 'fresh start' drugs mainly cannabis have been a issues for he past two years he's a pathological liar. I myself paid dealers off so he could have a clean slate after him stealing anything that had any value mobiles off his younger siblings camera's laptops stole every bit money out my bank account anything he could get his hands on basically he left us with nothing..... October last year we managed to help him go clean till January we had our son back!. He started going out with friends told us they were decent lads and yes we fell for it like fools. My own relationship has felt the strain although we are still together just. His biological dad isn interested at all.... the last straw has come he's stole his dads xbox and stole hundreds off my mum and stole hundreds off my sister.
I truly believe he's now moved on to mcap his behaviour is aggressive and out of control he just doesn't care. Tonight's he' been home kicking of saying he wants nothing more to do with us after another argument. I feel like my heart has been ripped out but until he wants o make that change we have to step away now and think of our younger two children. 
Although he'll never read this I just want him to know I love him so much and will be there when he's ready for the support and help he needs :'( but until then it's time to set him free........ because I'm physically and emotionally completely drained by him.


sad and tired
22 May 2014

yes and you are doing right, stay strong.  I am at this point with my son, we have all been through similar to you.  You are not alone...xx

concerned mum
23 May 2014

Hi ....My son was twelve months younger than yours when i started going through this....we are now three years on and still going through hell...he too has a younger sibling (3)  I have had to stand back from my son he was making me ill bleeding me dry of money and I was trying to juggler a toddler ...working nights ....daytimes either visiting hospitals, courts, and finally y o ....It has taken me a lot of time to realise that until he wants help (and help does nt mean cash)  i simply cant do anything and its the little ones and rest of family that are losing out.....I hope this gives you the strength to do what you feel is right for you because you can only do what you can manage mentally yourself.....As already been said your not alone xxx

24 May 2014

As a mother, the hardest thing to do when your child is addicted to substances / alcohol is watch the downward spiral of despair in their eyes when they so obviously need their "fix". It took me over 3 years to realise that I was his top enabler.....The lightbulb went on and I thought enough is enough. The empty promises, the stealing, the lying, and the abuse is hellish....My son first entered YO and did 2 stints in there..more like a youth club than somewhere where these young lads could get the right rehabilitation...Now at nearly 24 he is into his fourth day of prison...serving a 4 month sentence....What is really sad is that he had come to me prior to his sentencing, and asked for help......We had got him private counselling and he was really trying to get ahead....I can sleep knowing where he is, BUT, I also hope he thinks long and hard about how his life has panned out so far.....Seems all of us parents on here  are and have gone through similar experiences. IF theres one piece of advice I took and would give, it would be DO NOT ENABLE YOUR CHILD TO CONTINUE TO DESTROY THEIR LIFE.....Make it as hard for them as possible, cause once they hit rock bottom, the only way is UP!!! Hugs and love to you all. xxx

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