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Posted by Chrissylip on 21 April 2014.

Do people reply regularly on this site? Or know of a site that does? I need some guidance :(

Comments

concerned mum
21 Apr 2014

Hi...Im also relatively new to this site.  People on here are very supportive it must be just due to the bank holiday weekend

My eighteen year old son is taking drugs, alcohol and gambling...  I too didnt tell people at first but it started to impact on my health, my job and other relationships...I know its difficult but you have to stop covering for him,,

I really think you should give him some choices, maybe others will advise differently but twelve year olds are not daft and very quickly learn a lot more than you think.

My ex husband was drinking heavily when my boys were growing up and was violent and aggressive I wish I had left him sooner my son was ten when i did leave and now he is following the same path but worse...Please give him an ultimatum for your own sanity and for your daughters future.  I am going through a hell of a time with my son.  your gonna need to be really strong x x

concerned mum
21 Apr 2014

Hi...Im also relatively new to this site.  People on here are very supportive it must be just due to the bank holiday weekend

My eighteen year old son is taking drugs, alcohol and gambling...  I too didnt tell people at first but it started to impact on my health, my job and other relationships...I know its difficult but you have to stop covering for him,,

I really think you should give him some choices, maybe others will advise differently but twelve year olds are not daft and very quickly learn a lot more than you think.

My ex husband was drinking heavily when my boys were growing up and was violent and aggressive I wish I had left him sooner my son was ten when i did leave and now he is following the same path but worse...Please give him an ultimatum for your own sanity and for your daughters future.  I am going through a hell of a time with my son.  your gonna need to be really strong x x

Chrissylip
21 Apr 2014

Hi concerned mum, thanks for your reply. I know it's time I stopped hiding things. I feel like I'm going to explode if I keep if bottled up any longer. I've given him ultimatums in the past and his done really well for months, but he eventually relapses, becomes full of remorse the next day and begs me not to leave. He relapsed last week and I swore I'd end it if it happened again. I know what I have to do, I'm making the situation worse for my kids by accepting it. I hate to make him homeless, I'm scared his addiction will get worse. I'll look locally for councillors that can help him get the support he needs.

concerned mum
22 Apr 2014

Can you not go to his doctor with him?  Has he had councilling before and did it help?  I know what your saying about making him homeless its the hardest thing in the world to do..I had to do it with my son because he had a toddler brother at home and I would nt have him growing up thinking that its acceptable.  My son though would nt accept help or even try so I had to make the choice to be hard with him..It is his choice to take drugs and do what he does but its not mine and I dont want to live like that or have it around me.  I hope he agrees to some help but be firm and make sure he sticks to it...You have a life too...I do check on here most days so if you need to talk or rant im here Good luck

Chrissylip
22 Apr 2014

Thank you, yes he has agreed to help in the past but a few days later says it's under control and won't happen again, he don't need help. I've made an appointment for us to see his doctor in Friday and I'll go with him for support. His staying with a friend for a few days while I think things through. You've done the right thing by your little boy, I'll be doing the same if things don't change.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
23 Apr 2014

Hi All, the biggest thing we do as mums is try to hide it from the rest of the world.....and that in itself is enabling our kids to continue down their sad path. Keeping a roof over their head is enabling them, feeding them is enabling them....Personally I just felt embarrassed, ashamed, and wondered what I had done wrong..what I have learned is that it was nothing I did .......and I have also learned that I cant save him from drugs...he has to want to save himself....ive heard my son say he is going to kill himself, he needs money or he will get killed, ive heard pretty much all of the "quotes" a drug user uses......and I made a choice NOT to be part of his world whilst he is  doing drugs.....Yes I worry, but I have more control over my emotions now.....and I may come over as uncaring, but thats far from the truth....He never asks me for anything now because he knows it wont happen...i never give him money, and I may be hard on him but I always give him one thing and thats to tell him I love him and I want him to be happy......

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