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Posted by emmum on 15 March 2014.

My 15 year old son has been smoking Weed and has reciently has gone on to M Cat so i have found out from a mother of one of his 'old ' friends.
We've grounded him after an incident,were we and a friend said they were staying at each others house, and we found him the next evening 'not himself' shall we say!!
He's been better at school and home so we've let him out, and found out hes been back smoking again and hanging around with the wrong crowd. Which he denies, (but has been seen)
Now for the Million Dollar Question!! what should we do?
If we keep restricting his movements will we drive him to rebell more, or give him abit more rope knowing what he's doing and hope he grows out of it??
It's such a worry!! He's is great at lying and knows exactly how to play us!! If he's good at home and school we have no reason to keep him in!!
Has anyone used drug tests? Do they work?

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
15 Mar 2014

you can get drug tests online and yes they do work....this sounds like my son....he wasnt doing mcat but was doing weed at your sons age ....I like many parents thought at least its not "real drugs", we can sort it out...wow how wrong was I.... My son is 23 now and for the last 4 years he has done cocaine, crack cocaine, weed, m cat, you name it...he has lied, stolen and caused havoc within our family.....every job he has had he has lost .....he has no motivation to stop, and unfortunately he is at the age where we cant ground him, but you have a chance!!! Get yourself and son to a local group in your area....make him go, they have counsellors who will talk with him, and as a parent you can get help too....I personally wouldnt give him an inch....I would make it really hard for him...We were blind to it all, as neither me or his dad had ever had dealings  with drugs or what to look for...we even  sold and moved house but too little too late for us!!!!  Im sure he is a great kid, and you know your son better than anyone....good luck....

emmum
18 Mar 2014

Thanks you for your comment. I'm not sure i know my son at all anymore..i'm struggling to get help, I've spoken to a youth brug and Alcohol group, but HE has to make the referral.. (like he's going to that any time soon!!!) as we're quite rural most things are based in the larger cities which are 50+ miles away. But I'll keep trying, there are some private counsellors I could try. It's not too bad keeping him on a tight leash as he's in school, Until June!! it will be harder then. It  looks like he's not likely to reach his podicted grades so i don't know what will happen. We try and do things at the weekend to   give him less time with his 'friends' but unfortunatly some of which are starting to drive, so its harder to restrict his movements... its such a emotional drain i think about him all day and lie awake at night thinking about my beautiful boy.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
19 Mar 2014

Hi Emmum, hope today is a better one for you..... There is so much out there about drugs but getting help is the hard part....try and keep all lines of communications open, and hard as it is stay calm.....try and come to some sort of compromise. If you can get literature on all drugs and just leave it in his room.....he may not think its a problem, and he may just be trying to fit in and leave it,and smoking weed isnt neccesarily a gateway to using harder drugs...mcat is one of the MOST POPULAR drugs used in the UK. Stay strong hunni, and know that what you are doing for your son is the right thing....If you know the other lads parents, perhaps speak to them...if not find out......im sure their parents would be as shocked as you were......here if you need anything x

chelli
21 Mar 2014

Hi emmum
Just read your post. My son smokes weed and one of my biggest worries is that it will lead into stronger harder drugs but I've been told many times by many people that it isn't really the case. Having survived a relationship with a cocaine addict I worry what it could lead to buy an trying not to compare. I know all to well what it is like to be consumed by worry and staying awake all night being a . Parent is one of the hardest jobs and when your child doesn't take the road you hope it's harder. I'm here to support and listen anytime should you want to.

Joan
21 Mar 2014

My son has been an addict for ten years, taking meth, weed, alcohol, crack cocaine, etc.  He tells me that the WEED is what got him started.  It led him to experiment with other drugs.  (Do you know for sure that he's not taking other drugs?  Sometimes the parents are the last to know).  I would try to get him counseling and also have him see an M.D.,  who will advise him that marijuana adversely affects young people - it can cause brain damage, and it increases the chance of getting schizophrenia/psychosis.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
24 Mar 2014

Weed is so much more stronger than in our day...and when teens smoke it for lengthy periods it has many adverse reactions....depression, paranoia , psychosis in some instances..it all depends on the person, and how often they do it..that along with alcohol ....there are many other drugs out there that are cheap and just as harmful..I know my son started with weed, has done cocaine, tried crack, mcat, and other rubbish....along with alcohol it creates a monster! I would say educate yourself, check for signs, open your eyes ...I wish I had been more knowledgable , perhaps I could have done more

Loulou
8 Jun 2014

Hi emmum,
   My son is also 15. We live in a lovely rural village, and I STUPIDLY was naive enough to think my boys were all safe! How wrong was I. I've had money going missing, he,s been rude and aggressive one minute, then his usual lovely affectionate self next minute. He,s started hanging around with boys I don't know who are older than him. Last night I did a drugs test on him. It came back positive for weed and mcat. I've banned him from seeing these other boys, and I've told him the drugs test is a regular thing. I'm making an appointment with school tomorrow. What more can I do? We had a big talk last night. He cried, I cried. He promised it was the first time he,d tried mcat, but to be honest he lies so much I can't believe him.
I have 2 younger sons, the youngest being just 3. So I can't give my 100% attention to my eldest and watch him constantly. But what more can I do? Where did I go wrong? I have to stop this before it goes any further, but how?

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