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Help me be strong

Posted by scanners on 6 October 2014.

Im not in a very good place at the moment, im very low, not strong for all this shit, my son is on unconditional bail for another 2 weeks, but I cant face another day of this, Every day is the same........drugs money, drugs money..........its a vicious circle and im at fault because I give in.i hate him for what he does to me, I just want to go back to a normal life!!! Infact I dont remember any different, its been going on for so long!!

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
6 Oct 2014

Oh Hunni, it's so hard to live with.....I know that feeling all too well....is there anyone who can support you? Dealing with an addict on your own, especially when they are desperate for cash is frightening.....I know that some parents who couldn't cope anymore sought help from police, but I'm not sure you want to do that....I was constantly walking on egg shells and in the end made him leave.....he didn't like it, but it was the last option, and I hate to say it,, but it was the best thing for both of us.....I stopped helping him in every way while he was drinking and doing drugs....worried myself sick, but there was no other alternative.....he hated me at first, but I stood my ground. It's not the solution for everyone, but it was the right decision for our family xxxxx

scanners
6 Oct 2014

The police are involved, the criminal record he has is all to do with me, how sad is that? I have an injunction so that he stays away from my house but im still allowed contact because I wanted to help him find somewhere to live, he is staying with his grandmother but he is treating her like he did me and I can see it! My mum cant take no more and she has told him he 
has to go but at the moment he wont because he has no where to go, and im giving him money so he dos, nt bother my sweet mum, but he still does, and I can see its how I was living, or should I say im still living it.nothing has changed! Its just he lives there and not here!  He is 28 with a mind of a 16 yr old, he is angry with everyone, but the cannabis is out of of control, its every day about 20 to 30 pounds worth, he has not worked for months, so its my money. Oh what a mess im in, he scares me, he shouts and looses his temper and now he is doing it to my sweet mum. I need some help, desperate for help,that walking on egg shells is so very true. His dad wants nothing to do with him, and my son stays away from him, but when I say to him, I want nothing to do with you, he wont accept it,! Im seeing a councilor on friday, im hoping she can help me, i have also been advised by the police to change the injunction back to non contact whatsoever, he will break it, like the other 3 times, and be back in front of the judge!  Xxxxxx

lolipop
6 Oct 2014

Scanners it sounds to me like you've done all you can for your son . You can't let him get away with this sort of behaviour anymore and now your poor mom is involved . I hope speaking to your counsellor on Friday will help you to see things more clearly . Sometimes walking away is all we can do it doesn't mean you've given up on him if just means you will be strong enough to help him when he's ready . Deep down I think you know this but your scared and lonely and very tired I know how that feels  but you can and must do something about this situation it's terrible for you to continue living half a life . My heart goes out to scanners sending you a massive hug
Love lolipop

CANT TAKE NO MORE
7 Oct 2014

Please Scanner, go Friday, and change the injunction...I know it's hard, but your mum and you do not deserve what he is putting you through...addiction is cruel, and addicts simply cannot help themselves....prayers to all those effected by this horrible illness x

scanners
7 Oct 2014

Thank you my lovely ladies, nobody judges anyone onhere, everybody has a story to tell and to get support back feels fantastic, I thank you deeply. I will go friday and change the terms on the non-mol, im also seeing a lovely lady who is going to toughen me up a bit  and learn to say no....... hugs to you all.xxx

Swifty
9 Oct 2014

Please my love go on Friday and start to look after you. I am in a similar position...my heart goes out to you...big hugs and lots of love x

lolipop
10 Oct 2014

Hi scanners thought about you today . I really hope you went and found some support xx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
13 Oct 2014

Hey scanner how did you get on? Hope your ok xx

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