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Help my son is an addict

Posted by Gill on 25 September 2014.

Hi,im a single parent of 4 children aged 18 months to 19 years old, my 18 month old is disabled so its tough for me but its now even tougher as my 19 year old that lives with me is doing cocaine, legal highs and weed, he as hit me, smashed my house and car up, and just today he terrorised and robbed money from his girlfriend. He denies doing drugs and doing anything wrong. He as stolen from me and his brother's. Life is hell with him. He also as health problems, he as a heart and lung condition. It all started when their dad walked out and left us for another woman and now doesn't bother with my children. Im at my witts end and dont know what to do, please  an somebody help me.

Comments

lolipop
25 Sep 2014

Hi Gill ... My heart goes out to you it must be extremely difficult for you living like this. My son lives at home and smokes a lot of weed and has done for s couple of years . He to can get verbally aggressive and although has never hit any of us he smashes things round the house. I wish I could offer you advice that would help but I can't I only know that my life got better when I contacted a family support worker and started to put boundaries in place and I stick to them . Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but I keep trying . You must feel very frightened and alone . Please don't blame yourself or suffer in silence speak to someone and get support for you and the rest of your family . Sending you big hugs strength and courage xxx

Gill
25 Sep 2014

Hi lolipop, thank you for your reply. Could yoy please tell me how you got a support worker as i dont know where to get one from or where to get any support or advice from. Thanks, x

lolipop
25 Sep 2014

I contacted my doctors and they gave me the number of the U.K. National drug helpline but you can google it they should be able to point you in the right direction. Please ring them ( I just googled it and it says they have a 24 hr helpline but not sure how upto date that info is ) xx

Gill
25 Sep 2014

I will definitely contact them, thank you so very much for your help and support, it means alot, x

Icarus_Trust
26 Sep 2014

Hi Gill, and Lolipop,

The Icarus Trust provides people to speak to, who may be able to help you.  It's a free service too, and then they can signpost you to more specific if and when it's needed.  You can contact them via their email address of info@icarustrust.org of their website www.icarustrust.co.uk.

Good luck!

Gill
26 Sep 2014

Hi Icarus trust, i will give that a try, thanks for the reply.

Gill
29 Sep 2014

I thought things couldnt get any worse until today, my son as only conned £20 off my 71 year old mum who is in real nad health and i have had to sit and liatrn to her crying. My dad passed away so i only have my mum and he as done this to her, please somebody help me. I contacted Icarus Trust and got no where and tried drug line and got no where so please somebody tell me what i do now or where can i turn to. Its bad enough that my son is takung drugs but he also as health issues, he as a really bad heart and as had heart surgery. Im terrified that he will be dead soon if we dont get any help

CANT TAKE NO MORE
4 Oct 2014

Hi Gill, I'm sorry you feel so alone.....I too felt like that, until I spoke to a friend who is a police officer....believe it or not, he arrested my son prior, but doesn't judge..he gave me some useful local numbers which I rang...one was a support group for parents: partners etc....it was a godsend.....I learned so much about my behaviour and how it impacted on my son making things far worse, when all I wanted to do was help him...also coming on here I have learned, cried at others stories, but it has made me stronger and I feel able to cope better. My son has had 2 relapses in just over 10 weeks....he really wants to get well, but the addiction sometimes takes over...it's almost like a reaction for him, ...if something goes wrong! He now has to build on different strategies to dealing with stress etc.....the biggest thing is, he had to want to do it..no amount of tslking, help from others will change his mind...he has to want to change...when that time came for us, we rallied round, still do, supporting him...it's bloody hard, and everyday is a battle....he started a new job 5 weeks ago, his supervisor is an ex addict, so understands, and has taken him under his wing....he works hard, does loads of overtime which occupies his mind....but it's not over by a long shot.....his addiction lives with him daily and always will.....try and find some support for you Hunni xxxxx

Gill
4 Oct 2014

Hi, cant take no more, thanks for your reply. I have managed to source a support unit called Gasoed to which i will attend my first appointment with them on Tuesady. Im hoping they will help me to deal with it and hopefully then i can try get my son to see that he does have an addiction as he doesnt see or realise that he as an addiction. So fingers crossed i will get the help. Im so pleased to hear that your son is doing so well, i hope this is now the turning point for both you and your son, take care, x

CANT TAKE NO MORE
6 Oct 2014

Oh Hunni, I'm glad you have found an opening to speak to someone.....you need to take care of you, that's the first thing, as for your son, wanting to change has to come from him, and that's the hard part..it's a waiting game.....for over 4 years I've known about my sons addiction , made excuses.....not any more....I'm happy to support him all the way whilst he tries to overcome his addiction...it's long haul, but I'm not naive to think it will be all,plain sailing.....
Hugs to you Hun, and good luck to you..I really hope in time your son will ask for your help xxx

Gill
6 Oct 2014

Thanks cant take no more. I will let you know how i get on. Hearing and realising that others are going through it makes me feel better as i have somebody to talk to that i know who can understand what im going through and it really does help me, thanks everybody, xx

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