We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Posted by Gem0805 on 10 April 2016.
Right....I'm gonna try and make this as short as possible....but may fail.....so nearly a year ago I met a guy through a dating sight....we clicked instantly and I loved how kind and caring he was....and sensitive too....after seeing each other for a few months I realised I was falling for him...so we became an item....I just felt like he was holding back something from me...and I found his job a little odd...strange hours....really crap wage and no holiday pay....it was as if it might of been some kind of volunteer job for ex cons....so one day before he was coming to see me I decided to google his name.....and that was one of the worst days of my life!!...I found out the man I loved was a criminal and heroin addict!!...I was so so shocked and read all of the newspaper reports...how the judges always said he came across as such a nice person and really remorseful for his crimes...and that he had just chosen the wrong path in life and could of been so much more!!...any way he was coming round that night...so I confronted him!!....he cried and cried and said he so wanted to tell me....but that he was so scared of losing me that he just couldn't bring himself to do it....it was hard,but I decided I wouldn't judge him for his past and just begged him to tell me everything ....anyway after I got over that deceit...it was brilliant...we only saw each at weekends....but I have had so much happiness over the last year and my kids also fell totally in love with him!!......but then around 2 months ago he started asking to borrow money...he always paid me bk on payday...but I just didn't get why all of a sudden he was always super skint....then he stopped wanting to go anywhere...and would just sit up in my bedroom if any of my friends came round...then one night he was staying over and I fell asleep on the sofa....when I woke up he wasn't in the room....I lay there for a bit trying to wake up and around 10 mins later I heard him come out of the bathroom ..he came downstairs and went straight to his coat and zipped something I the pocket!!...that's when I started to worry....I watched him like a hawk every weekend after that and even checked his pockets...I didn't find anything so I put it down to me being paranoid....then he started saying he would like to move closer to me so we could see each other more....we decided it was still to soon for him to move in....but my mum heard us discussing it and offered him one of her spare rooms for quite cheap...we thought that was a great idea and that he could eventually get a job over here...but in the meantime he would use the buses to get to work...so he moved over bank holiday week end..I started noticing that weekend that he constantly had a rucksack on his bk...he took it to my mums but always brought it bk...but when he was at mine he would come in with it..but then it would disappear...I realised he was hiding something in there...I found the bag checked it and found.....heroin ,needles and citric acid!!....😳😳😳.....I could of died there on the spot!!...he had brought that shit into my house....where my 3 children were!!...I couldn't confront him u til the kids went bed...but when I did....he eventually admitted it....and cried and cried and begged me for help and told me he hated himself and what he was doing!!...my heart could have broken for him...I have never seen someone so desperate or sad!!...so I told him to get rid of that shit and that I would help him....I researched all I could and got him lots of medicines that would apparently help with withdrawal!!...he promised me he hadn't touched anything that following week!!...I found him numbers for support services and told him to book in the doctors!!..he still hasn't done that...anyway so last weekend..he was at mine again....I was constantly checking up on him and checking his pockets...and searching my house for stuff....and then Lo and behold I find another stash of stuff hidden high up in my bathroom!!....I told him we were over.....he broke down...told me had nothing to live for without me!!...told me she would be homeless because my mum wouldn't let him stay there once she knew we weren't together!!...I gave in again!!...he pleaded ,begged and sword he could kick the habit and gd would do it for us!!....so then yesterday came!!...he went in the loo for ages!!..he came out hyper!!...I checked his pockets and yes I found more!!!...my heart broke a little more!!!...I told him to leave again!!!...he sat and cried for 2 hours!!.. Oh and this week he also lost his job!!...he is as low as anyone can get and its killing me in side...I have felt sick for the lAst month....I believe nothing he says!!...I literally am all he has got though!!!....I relented last night and let him stay ,I got my sister round and told her everything!!..after going crazy at me...she spoke to him and felt so so sorry for him too....she promised to help to....so As it stands he has said he will go to the drugs centre tomorrow to ask for help!!...i've said I will go with him!!...I want to help him and love him so much!!...but I can't see I will ever be able to trust him!!..he had lied constantly to me!!..I feel constantly sick and scared and hate when he's not near me coz I'm so worried something bad will happen.....I have just text him to tell him we are over...he hasn't replied!!....I feel sick and am not strong enough to deal with this.....but I also can't bear that I am all he has left ,but I am just gonna dessert him!!...he will probably manage to change my mind again tomorrow!!...I don't know what to do ...I need help/advice!!..xx
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