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Here we go again...........

Posted by JumpingJehosofat on 11 November 2015.

I got married to a bloke when I was 21 - I knew he drank every night to wind down after work, but thought having a house and mortgage would make him stop. It didn't. I used to have to sneak home from work through the day when he was off to see to my babies because he couldn't get up, we never had money in the bank -  he kept it in his wallet to make sure he had enough to buy drink in an evening and I had to steal from him to feed the kids - this drinking every night continued for the 15 years I stayed with him - no  family outings, bouts of rage and smashing up the house, having to be home and kids settled by 7 pm so the drinking could commence - he did, and still does hold down a job - but life for him focuses on drink time. He threw me out when I got ill and could no longer work and pay for everything else required to run a home, feed a family, and keep his earnings free for alcohol.

I now live with Jeff (8not his real name). A fantastic, loving, generous, special guy. His health has been damaged by alcohol - he has heart problems. He has a fantastic - but high stress job, and his former partner led him a merry dance for a long period of time. By the time I moved in, a year ago, he had been drinking heavily in the evenings, most evenings, for a long time. He drinks heavily at least three times a week and usually more, and it has gotten to the stage where he is so hungover sometimes he can't make it to work. Today is one of those days. When he doesn't drink in the evening, he finds it very difficult to settle and can't sleep. He is very often sick in the mornings, even when he hasn't been drunk the night before, he often has bloodshot eyes, and his energy levels are non existent.

He often speaks about stopping drinking, and sometimes goes for a run of three or four days without, but then the cans, and the jd appear in the kitchen again.

I want to be with Jeff forever, I love him dearly, I'm desperate for him to really 'live', I want him to chuck his stressful and demanding job and do something he loves. I don't want to lose this guy - and I'm so afraid he's going to die a nasty, unhappy death for the sake of a few hours oblivion a night

Comments

LauraLou92
17 Dec 2015

Hey :) hope your ok!! Have you spoke to jeff about how you feel? And does he know of your past experience? I know the feeling of worrying, getting upset ect because of a loved one drinking. He needs to understand how you feel if only you could give him your eyes so he could look at his self from an outside point of view! If you ever need to chat i'm always here :) x

LauraLou92
17 Dec 2015

Hey :) hope your ok!! Have you spoke to jeff about how you feel? And does he know of your past experience? I know the feeling of worrying, getting upset ect because of a loved one drinking. He needs to understand how you feel if only you could give him your eyes so he could look at his self from an outside point of view! If you ever need to chat i'm always here :) x

Icarus Trust
11 Jan 2016

Hello,
If you would like to contact The Icarus trust we may be able to help by offering you some support for yourself. The charity was set up to help the friends and families of addicts because it is so difficult dealing with the affects of another's addiction. It may help you to talk with one of our trained volunteers called 'Family Friends'.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this helps. Good luck.

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