We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Heroin Addict Brother
Posted by Inthemiddle on 11 February 2015.
My little brother was going through a tough time our father passed away, his wife kicked him out of their house, and he lost his job all in the same week. I took him under my wing brought him into my home, that I share with my wife and our 3 children, to live and got him a job with the company I work for. A couple months in I started hearing rumors at work about my brother and his odd behavior, my wife had her suspicions as well so we had a talk with him and explained that in order for him to continue to live with us he would have to pass a drug test. He failed miserably, so he packed up his things and moved in with his girlfriend. It wasn't too much longer when his name popped up for a random at work and he failed again. He was suspended and allowed to come back a few weeks later however, he failed his reentry drug test as well so he was let go. I finally broke down and went to talk to my mother. Our talk didn't go as planned...she didn't believe a word I said, despite me having black and white proof and kicked me out of her house. For the past 2 years I have sat back and watched my heroin addicted brother steal, lie, almost die, and lie some more. Last month it all finally caught up with him, he was arrested. He got pulled over because someone reported suspicious activity (he and another guy broke into a neighbors car) upon searching the 2 of them they found heroin and other paraphernalia. This past month was good, my mother and I started talking again, but that ship has sailed once again. She decided to bail him out...against everyone's wishes. You see over the past 2 years there isn't a family member he hasn't stolen from, lied to or deceived, after wrecking his car he even stole our aunts and wrecked hers too, my mother has nothing left in her house worth any value as he has taken EVERYTHING to sell to support his habit - not counting all the cash she and other family memebers has given him. She bailed him out now expects me to bend over backward for him and forgive and forget everything as she feels he is "cured". I just can't do it, I'm not ready I can't even look at him in the face, let alone just forget everything like it never happened. He has been caught by family members, questioned, fired, arrested 3 times, been in 5 accidents 1 that almost took his life - he spent 3 months in ICU and after all that he went back to the needle each time. Why she thinks he isn't going to go back to it just because he spent a month in the slammer is beyond me. I just don't know what to do I have 3 children that she is missing out on because she blames me for being the bad guy for not wanting to help him. Its not that I don't want him to get better, it's not that I don't want to help him...its just, I don't even know. It's very difficult to let all that go I guess I am just bitter about her ALWAYS enabling him and telling me to go to hell. He will not take responsibility for what he has done "the drugs made him do it", she sees him as a victim "he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, he was hanging out with the wrong people that got him in trouble, etc". It is very tiring to see them/listen to them as I feel they are both living in their own little [coocoo] world. I have tried telling her all of this and her reply was "if you can't show support to him you are out of my life." Anyone else out there in the same spot or were you at one time? How are you dealing or what was the outcome? Thank you.
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