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heroin and crack addict boyfriend

Posted by zeus on 25 January 2015.

Ihave been with my boyfriend for 4yrs but met him 15yrs ago,we got together after he came out of jail,he has spent most of his adult life in prison,his brother warned me ,he was a heroin addict,but i didnt listen.At first all was well,my partner was loving ,very close to me,but after a few months he started going off on his own to neighbours etc,and was drinking,some nights he wouldnt come home,he has always smoked weed and at one point he started selling it,this gave him more opportunity to be away from me,going out in the neighborhood to sell it ,he was mixing with all sorts of people including the many smack heads in the area.Soon he started staying out more and one night when he came home i found a foil tube in his pocket,i asked him about it and he lied and said it was someone elses,he went from smoking heroin to injecting and was stealing from shops to fund his massive smack and crack habit, he was arrested and was finally jailed  he served 5 mnths and like an idiot i fell for his sob stories and promises of a better life on his release,he did a de tox in jail for 21 days,but on some visits i was getting suspicious of how he looked,he said it was his tablets pre gabelin,and he was smoking a bit of weed and spice,legal highs,when he could get them,well he came home Dec 3rd,2014,and he had hardly any clothes left and was wearing prison trainers cos he had traded them all for weed and spice,i now believe that to be a lie and the truth to be ,he traded his clothes for class A drugs,well like the mug i am i bought him all new clothes,trainers,coat ,hat,gloves etc to give him on his release day,he was buzzin,he loved me so much ?we had alovely Christmas with my adult son and our 2 dogs ,but after new year he went awol for 12 hours,and this happened again ,the lies started,and 4 days ago he left our house to collect my money from the post office,said he was going to town to buy spice and wouldnt be long,well he left at 9 am and returned at 8.30 pm,all under his nose was red,and my money was over £60,short,he said he was going back out for another hour ,at this point i told him thst if he walked out the door then our relationship was over for good,well you guessed it,he walked,he hasnt been back yet for his few remaining clothes and hasnt had the guts to ring me,i am devastated after standing by him,but i half believed he would do this,his need for drugs is greater than his love for me and the dogs he calls his babies,i am really struggling to cope,i cant sleep,eat or function properly,i cry heartbroken cos i love him but i cant go through the pain again,my son and i suffered for 18mnths befor he got jailed,and i feel totally used,its as if he used me to support him through his sentence,cos he had no one else,and now hes returned to his junkie mates and i am surplus to requirements,he used to use my home like a hotel,returning after drug binges,dirty and smelly,coming back apologetic ,but it was just a ploy so he could get a shower and clean clothes,only to take off again,i cant take anymore,i love him and all hes done is use and abuse my love,i hope hes back in jail very soon,but i warned him not to write to me,ive done my bit,anyone else would have got rid of the lying thieving scum bag long ago,and i would advise any one else to do the same ,he even told me that if i was doing these things to him ,he would be log gone,what does that tell you ?

Comments

Icarus Trust
27 Jan 2015

I am so sorry with what you are feeling and have been going through.. It must be heart breaking for you after all you have done to try and help your partner. I really would like you to suggest that you get some support for yourself now. Sadly loads of people go through the same as you and its really hard, but  there is support for people that have been affected by another person's addiction. 
The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts. We have a 'Family Friends' service. These are trained volunteers who would be able to talk with you and give you any help or support you might need.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
May be this could help you to move on. Good luck!

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