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His habbit has destroyed me.

Posted by Survivor. on 6 October 2013.

My ex partner has a Drug habbit. He lives in a world of total denial and lies to hide it from everyone. I got out of the house we shared but I still get succered into falling for the sob story time and time again. My life has become a struggle through his habbit and I hate myself for being weak and not being able to cut him off. Today I found this site and called a helpline. Where will I find the strength to get my life back without him in it. I read some of the links on this site and it's like a light has switched on in my head. What im reading is my story but experienced by others too. I have felt very alone for a long time but hopefully today my life is about to change for the better.

Comments

AmandaA
11 Oct 2013

My son is a drug addict and my life has been hell because of it.  I too have started talking to DrugFam and it has really helped.  Its so hard to do what you need to do.  Im hoping i can find the strength from somewhere just like you.

Survivor.
11 Oct 2013

Just know you are not alone in your struggle. Every minit of everyday I hurt inside cos I miss the man I had to walk away from because of what he had become. I'm unsure if they even realise the hurt and damage they cause or if they even care. Be strong and take all the support you need to stay strong x

AmandaA
11 Oct 2013

Thankyou and you too.  I'm just at the start of not supporting my son.  He is homeless, no friends, no money.  I cant tolerate his behaviour anymore or the impact it has on my life.  So I am trying to take back control.  When he is ready to accept change I will help him.  But until then i have to cut him out of my life.  Its tough.  xxx

Moopy
19 Oct 2013

When i read this i thought it was my step mum writing it, she has just left my father cause he is an addict, me & my sibling have had to take control, we picked him up from A&E as he was taken there for suicide tendencies, for 3 weeks we have  tried to support doing everything. Last night to cut a long story short he throttled me and throw me from his house and  I had to drive 150 miles home in the middle of the night with my pets, why is it today that I am feeling anger, emotion, sadness and guilt but know that what he did was wrong. I'm at a loss and am on long term illness myself with no help from him why do I feel this bad. Afraid that we wont speak again, as he has reacted in this way when I was a child deja Vu!!!

AmandaA
19 Oct 2013

Call DrugFam they will be able to help you.  Somehow its people like us that end up the victims not the addict.  Our intentions are always good and its a very hard habit to break to walk away from somebody.  Sounds like you need to focus on you which is what i am trying to do.  Its really hard.  x

Survivor.
19 Oct 2013

Hi.
I'm so sad for you too, just know that you are not alone in this, most days I cry for all that my ex has detroyed and damaged through his addiction. I kills me not to see him but It is very much in my best intrests not to carck and give in to that horrible drug he is comsumed with.My friend says nothing worthwhile comes easy and we are all worth so much more than how we have been treated i think.Amanda is so right when she says it's us that end up the victims, I know my life was detroyed by his habbit and I know if I care anything for myself Hard as it is, I must stay strong and stay away, Stay strong and know there is help out there for you Just ask for it. take care & god bless xxx.

AmandaA
19 Oct 2013

Wise words thankyou. I've had a bad couple of days
And have really wobbled. It's been v hard but I know
what I need to do. Just not that easy putting into practice. I wish u both luck and stay strong x

Moopy
20 Oct 2013

Thank you both for your words, thinking positive thoughts for you both and that you get through this. It's good to know that I'm not on my own and there is support out there, thinking of you! Xx

Lucy
28 Apr 2014

I think the thing to remember is that it IS going to hurt it is goin to be hard and u will miss that person and still love that person which i have to accept in order to be able to put myself first bcoz ive said for so long that i deserve better that i am not willing to go back if theres another relapse n ov corse there has been n ov corse i have..but i think i worry still n thats wot makes me send a tx sayin he can come and eat with us or meet me i feel guilt i feel a deep sadness that he has nobody but when i see him it hurts as i look at man that isnt truly with me he is lost and he is thin and he hasnt eaten n it is just so sad i cant bear to let go n not know what is happening to him but im not his mom n i cant as much as it is goin to hurt live in his addiction nymore i feel us or myself pulling more n more away n mayb thats why im upset bcoz i no deep down before i no it i wont have him in my life nymore n i still love my partner and im scared of letting go ill be honestt ive only really got him n my kids but we will never have a true n good life whilst he uses

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