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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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How do we ever cope

Posted by Worn out on 27 January 2014.

My story is pretty much the same as many but perhaps writing it down may help me, but to be honest I don't know where to start!
Perhaps by telling you that I have three adult sons, the eldest a heroine addict who has struggled with life for the past 7 years or so, we have tried rehab, implants and now he has a script from the doctors, it is so heartbreaking to see him. A lovely intelligent lad with a great girlfriend it is so hard to understand why they do this to themselves. My youngest - now 23 was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and was on Ritalin for a short while, it did not seem to suit him. I can not begin to tell you the problems I have had with him all of his life. The current situation is that he is facing a prison sentence which I know will destroy him. He self harms and has the most volatile temper. He's either up or down and this can be from one minute to the next. He only hold down a job as he is employed by us. On Friday he turned up for work drunk and when challenged,  threatened to punch my husband, he became in such a state he was inconsolable punching and causing himself harm. He can often do this and he has self harmed on a number of occasions. He has no sense of consequence what so ever, he can not keep any relationship and his partner left him with our beautiful grand daughter. He is so intense In hIs emotions he either hates you or is so needy of you. I am his emotional punchbag, he lies  and steals to the point we have to lock everything away, nothing is ever his fault. He can not see beyond the now,he is incapable of managing money and borrows off everyone, he is in so much debt, I bail him out weekly, I am in despair. I have at last got a referral to the mental health team for him, but it is probably too late as he may end up in prison,where I know he just will not cope and I am so scared for him, his friend committed suicide last year when facing a prison sentence I pray to god that this will not be the way for him. Please tell me how you cope, I am on anti depressants and have been for a number of years, they do help but is there ever any light at the end of this very long dark tunnel?


28 Jan 2014

Hi, I feel for your story, except it isn't a story it is our lives and we all seem to be in the same position.  I am attending a support group this evening, I am hoping it will help.  I think everyone copes differently, does your son get help for his Self Harm?

30 Jan 2014

Hi, I am so sorry for your situation, but totally empathise with it, my brother has ADHD and was addicted to heroine for about 2yrs, as well as other drugs and alcohol. He eventually managed to kick the heroine after a long visit in hospital due to pneumonia, then he was prescribed methadone, which I know can be harder to kick than the heroine in some cases, however, he did do it. He went an organisation called c.a.t.c.h and adaction, with lots of relapses in between! My mum obviously was destroyed as well as me, but I persuaded her to go to a family support unit who advices her how to help her cope and explained a lot about the effects of drugs/ treatment etc. they're are support networks for families of addicts, your local gp could advise you of your nearest one, or you may have done this already, I really hope you get the support you deserve and it's does help to vent to someone and realise you are not alone in your situation. My brother is still drinking heavily and is a continuos struggle with him for the whole family but I cope by not letting it define me, just caring as much as I can and be there to listen and love him, sometimes that's all you can do when there on a path of self destruction. Wish you lots of luck, hang in there, xx

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