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I want out

Posted by Michelle on 23 April 2018.

I have been with my partner for 4 & a half years & hes always drank but I never knew to what extent until we started living together. We have a 2 & a half year old which he was desperate for us to have but he knew it wasn’t what I wanted because of the problems we’d had with his drinking but I hoped this would make him change, it didn’t! I’ve tried to leave him so many times but he’s so manipulating & constantly guilt trips me threatening to kill himself & always promises to change but never has & I know he never will. We stopped living together 2 years ago & he got his own flat as we would argue & fight nearly every weekend when he’s drinking gets worse as he’ll start drinking in the morning which he knows I hate so he’ll hide the cans all round the house & thinks I don’t notice but his mood & behaviour change when he’s drinking. He drinks at least 10 cans every weeknight but doesn’t see it as a problem as he’s holding down a job but come the weekends he drinks a lot more & that’s when things get worse. I know I’m wasting my life with a man who clearly doesn’t care about how I feel he’s been abusive to me in the past, he’s stole from me & always lies to me & I know I deserve better & so does my daughter but it’s so hard to cut all ties with him because of our daughter & because he just hounds me until I give in! All I want is to be happy & not have to walk on eggshells & constantly been lied to so why can’t I just walk away & keep him out of my life? I fail every time I try.

Comments

Icarus Trust
23 Apr 2018

Hi Michelle,

I'm so sorry to read your story and to hear what you are having to deal with because of your partner's drinking.
If you think it would help we have people you could talk with at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts. If you contact us you could talk with one of our experienced and trained people which might help you to see a way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps. Good luck.

Michelle
23 Apr 2018

Thank you for your reply & advice I think I will give them a try. He has sent me 54 text messages today constantly trying to wear me down like he always does.

anon22
23 Apr 2018

Sorry to hear your story. I had very similar 6 years ago and finally got out so there is hope. I tried and failed so many times with friends and family not understanding why I kept going back. We have 2 children together and that was the reason. I kept thinking it would be for the best. One day when he was kicking off and saying he wasn’t drunk something clicked and I walked. It hasn’t been easy and I struggle knowing what I should or shouldn’t be doing with the children. He used to see them and it got to point where I didn’t know if he would be sober so stopped contact. Sorry for essay, my first time on here!,

Icarus Trust
1 May 2018

Good luck to both of you.

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