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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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I wish I had answers.

Posted by fbc83 on 21 October 2014.

He is a functioning heroin addict, thats my problem. He works, he pays bills, he picks the children up from school. How can I split up with him? Hes a sneaky lying heroin addict he keeps things from because he doesn't want to "hurt my feelings". My head is screaming at me to get rid. Why do i feel like my heart is punishing me & saying "well he is a good person". I wear the same fake smile every day & its killing me!!!


22 Oct 2014

Hi Hunni....your words move me to's so hard trying to keep things going when you live with an addict......only you can know what to do, and having support really does lighten that worry....your children I'm guessing are still too young to know what's going on, but they won't be for ever....think of the impact his addiction will have on them.......I hope against hope that you come to the right decision for you and your the meantime try and find some support from a group in your area. I have found the regulars on here a wealth of help....which in turn has made me so much stronger..take care Hunni xxx

31 Oct 2014

He is functioning, working and paying the bills, then you describe him as a sneaky lying heroine addict, so if you take the heroine out of it, he's doing ok? 
Stay focused on his positives and just because he is a heroin addict don't assume he has become a bad person. He no more wants to be an addict than you want him to be.
Society has made us look at a drug addict as you described him, so they aren't just regretting the day they even tried it they are fighting society's perception of them. 
If he was addicted to a gp prescribed drug he wouldn't be condemned in the same way. 
Try educate him on the impact it will have on you all, including him. I do not believe he enjoys the path he is on, but the power of the drug gives him a false sense of reality. 
Seek supports for you and your children and encourage him to do the same. Don't hate him, it's the drug that has taken him. He does have choices but it's no longer clear cut, it's a journey and I prey he engages with appropriate supports. 
My thoughts and prayers are with you, him and your children, keep strong and focused x

31 Oct 2014

To cant take no more & cazandyx... thanks for your comments. It makes so much sense. Our children are 8 & 12. I asked my 12 yr old "what do you think about drugs?" He said "its not good its stupid". I left it at that, I thought if he knew about his dad that would of prompted him to say something. My partner is on methadone thats what annoys me, he uses on top. Plus it seems all the users he knows know not to tell me so it feels like they think im stupid. I know hes not a bad person & he actually says that. Hes just gota problem. We've had 100s of chats about it. I support him but I get frustrated cause he has gone 8 weeks with out heroin he says he "dabbles" he cant help it. Its a secret to his work & non using friends. He works nights so he looks tired alot of the time & he uses that to his advantage. I suppose knowing he takes heroin but i dont see him use I imagine allsorts. I dont want that phone call either. Ive said if he dies through anything heroin related I wont go to his funeral cause it was self inflicted selfishness.

6 Nov 2014

Hi fbc83,

The Icarus Trust has a free "Family Friend" service which is giving you someone to talk to, let everything out and then signpost you to additional help if you want.  They are people who have been in situations with addictions in their families, so are able to relate on one level of another.

You can contact them via email or have a look at their website

Good luck!

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