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i worry im not doing the right thing

Posted by dove on 16 December 2014.

My son is 26 since he was 13. He haas been drinking and taking drugs drugs his addictions are extrem.   When he drank it would be all day until he passed out   he told me he was addicted to arosoles and would be sniffing them consantly, he even had them delieved to the house.  After his dad comitted sucide two yeats ago after suffering from addiction and related depression i had my son then 25 removed from my home  tough love if you like.   But still he has not changef he wants to come home over xmas but i really dont want him home my daughter is pregnant my mum is recovering from surgery.  Last xmas he was so high he kept falling asleep  he needs help but doesnt want it.   Now hes addicted to diazpam and steriods     tough love isnt working  guilt is killing me. But so was living with.

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
16 Dec 2014

You don't have to be part of the addiction Hunni....I made the hardest decision I've ever made as a mother,and told my son while he continued to use I was done,and didn't want to see him or speak to him. We went through over 4 years, and after facing facts, it was the only thing left to do....addiction left its mark on every family member. Enjoy your Christmas as much as you can with your daughter and mum..they deserve and you deserve a peaceful time...take care xxxx

smum
17 Dec 2014

I am sat here early hours of the morning, as I couldn't sleep, looking for help and guidance. Reading your stories, makes me feel like I am not alone. My son who is 29, has been clean for about 7 months, he had been doing so well, but the past couple of weeks has relapsed. I found him this morning, sat in his room drinking and using coke.  I feel so helpless, as I supported him through recovery and thought we had turned a corner and now blame myself, as I feel like I have become less vigilant and didn't see the signs. Your stories help because, I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but it's hard to watch that self destruction. I miss my son, who is kind and loving, but has changedto being withdrawn and aggressive.  Sometimes you have to let them go, which is the hardest part.

mother of an addict
17 Dec 2014

Well done to your son for managing 7 months this might not be as bad as you think there may have been an event which triggered this relapse talk to him if you can he will be feeling as bad as you knowing he has failed but, tell him to get back on the 'bike'

Icarus Trust
18 Dec 2014

Hi,
Sorry to hear about the hard choices you are having to make but good advice from fellow bloggers.
If you would like any more help Icarus Trust is a charity which has trained volunteers who would talk to you. This is a free service and they all have experienced living with addicts in the family so would understand where you are coming from. 
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope you are able to have a good Christmas. Good luck.

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