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IN THE DARK GIRLFRIEND

Posted by lj1973 on 1 February 2015.

hi,im the girlfriend of a guy withdrawing from cannabis and nicotine.i don't understand any of this.as ive never smoked myself.ive witnessed the mood swings,the sweats,the anger,the not sleeping.we had a silly fall out over money I needed to give him.but I didn't have any change.also for something he had bought.whilst I went to get the change.he packed up majority of hes belongings from my flat.as I came out of the lift he came out of my front door.no words were said.as we were both annoyed,i guess.my frustration got the better of me.so I called my dad.he lent me the remainder of the money owing.and took me to my boyfriends to give it to him.first of all he wouldn't open the door.so I text him to say if he wanted hes money to come to the door.this he did,reluctantly.we had a very heated discussion.he asked why I came there.i told him my frustrations.i got upset.then my dad knocked on the door and told me to leave and told my boyfriend to stay away.not a good move by my dad.but he was protecting me.as there have been previous issues.i got upset.we didn't end it.but it got left up in the air.he looked teary as I walked out the door.i didn't contact him till much later the following day.i guess we were still angry.made worse by him not answering my calls or returning my texts.i got on a bus and went to his after finally getting a response from him.telling me to bin the rest of hes belongings.hes car wasn't there.i called hes friend.he didn't no any of what had gone on.he said he had seen my boyfriend earlier that day.he said he didn't seem in a good place.as he is a weed smoker too.he said he had called hum about 10 minutes before I had.to ask if he could go round hes.but he was already out.so I don't know where he had gone,still don't.then the following day.i text him early to say I hated him.which I didn't really mean.i was just feeling rejected.worried he was with another woman.then in the afternnon after calming down.i text again.saying how I was missing him and loved him.he replied I thought you hated me.i said I hated the situation.he said he felt that everything he said or suggested was wrong.so he had given up.i said I was sorry.i can be very opinionated.i asked if it was over for him.he said he needed space to clear hes head.i asked him do you love me.he said he did,but I didn't think so.and now too much has happened.that he loved me when we got on but more often than not he felt surpressed.so I asked if he was saying he didn't love me anymore.i got no reply.i asked if I called him would he answer.he replied no,straight away.i asked why not.reply because I wanna be left alone.found that hard.as I knew he had gone out the night before.i asked if he was with someone else.he said no.hes just sick of the stress.i said I just wanted to hear hes voice as I couldn't see or touch him.he replied I just wanna be left in peace,for now.as he felt crap because he had caught the cold and sore throat I had just got over.plus because of the withdrawing from smoking.i replied.i know you feel shitty.thats why I just wanted to give him a big hug.that im here for him,if he needs me.that was the last contact.that was yesterday.there has been no communication today.i do appreciate he is in a bad place.but I want to help him,be with him to support him.but ive just been rejected.its so hard not knowing what is going on.i don't know what to do.please anybody help me to understand this situation.we have been together over 2 and a half years.and were both 41 years old.xx

Comments

Icarus Trust
2 Feb 2015

Hi,
Sadly, its a really hard situation that you are in. if you would like to talk to some one who would understand what you are going through then please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people, like you,  who are having to deal with the impact of addiction. We offer a free service called 'Family Friends' and if you get in touch you could talk with one of these experienced trained volunteers.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope that talking to someone like this will help you to understand what you would like  to do next.
Good luck!

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