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Jackrussel2

Posted by Jackrussel2 on 17 August 2016.

I feel so alone and would value people's comments and advice. My husband of 15 years (aged 61) is addicted to Cannabis. He has smoked it since he was a teenager and does not want to stop. He would deny he is addicted, but I know he is. He had a hard emotionally abusive childhood and struggles to cope with stress and conflict, using weed to 'numb' his emotions. He has 3 children aged: 24,27 and 30, they all do not like him smoking so much. He buys £120 of weed and this lasts about 10 days, he does this about twice a month. He has taken money out of our bills account,  but is paying it back. In the main he does not steal or get us into debt. 
Apart from the weed issue, he is generally supportive, I have had a few years of physical problems and he has been there for me. He is loving and kind. We had a big argument today, with me asking him to compromise on how much he smokes: he knows I do not like him smoking, but says he likes smoking and will not compromise. I said he does not care about my feelings and he says he loves me, but he does not like me telling him what to do and treating him like a child. I say to him, you do not respect how I feel, why will you not compromise and all he can say is I like doing it.
I can not ask him to stop as he has done it all his life. The reason I don't like it is: he spends all his money on it and has no money for us to do things: it is not fair for me to have to pay for things all the time. I do not like how it makes him: slurring his speech and giggly. It is like when you are sober and you are with someone drunk, I don't respect him when he is like that.
I guess, people are going to say to me: well, he does not want to stop, so you have to put up and shut up, or leave? I do love him and don't want to leave. But, I hate this side of him. 
I do not live near a support group, maybe I don't need that. I know my story is not as bad as many others, but at the same time, it is so hard at times. 
Thanks for reading.

Comments

Icarus Trust
19 Sep 2016

It sounds like you could do with some support for yourself and there is support available if you contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the families and friends of addicts and we have experienced trained volunteers you could talk with if you think that would help. 
Please contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.

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