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Just looking for some support

Posted by poisoned on 17 July 2013.

I'm new to this website. After seeking support from other family members with no success, I find myself questioning my decisions more and more every day. Here is a run down of my story. My mother has suffered from a drug addiction for as long as I can remember. My brother and I have been able to get through some of the toughest times to current date. I am 27 now with my own family and now my son and husband has witnessed and been 'poisoned' by her addiction. She abuses prescription medications. 3 years ago, she was hospitalized with aspiration pneumonia with complications of withdrawal. The day she went on the ventilator, I was discussing her state of health with the nurse and me being next of kin, she asked what medications she was taking at home so that they could take the correct course of action. I told her and the opiates and benzos were not in my list of meds. She informed me that my mother was going through withdrawal heavily, having seizures and wanted to make sure they provided the right care for her. After emergency operations and 6 weeks in critical care on the vent, these feelings were brought up all over again. My dad left my mom because of her addiction and I've had to watch her go in and out of hospitals during my childhood. Okay, then last year in April she came for a visit swearing she was sober. I said okay. Long story short, she had a seizure on my stairs, fell violently down there and suffered a head injury to her right temporal lobe. She was rushed to the ER where they performed yet another surgery to save her life. Again, I am put into a spot to make her life or death decisions. Not only that, my 6 year old son at the time FOUND her at the bottom of my stairs bleeding from her right ear and nose. It proved to be very traumatic for him as well as my husband and MIL who was also here at the time. I am a nurse, I know what a seizure looks like and I know what happens at this time. She had a seizure. PERIOD. After long hours of brain operation, I came home to "rest" and planned to rummage through her things to find the culprit and I did. I found a bottle of barbituates (which the tox screened showed) that was supposed to have 90 and there were NONE. She filled the bottle on the 12 and the bottle was empty on the 21. Since then, I have given her an ultimatum, get help and until then you cannot see us or my son. She knew this when she left here after her accident and was enraged for a little while but then accepted it. Over a year later, she tried convincing me once again, she is sober and wanted to come and visit  with other family when they came. I moved my brother here a few years ago who she is visiting right now. I refuse to give in and we cannot even have a conversation without fighting and tears. My brother thinks what I'm doing is wrong and I have a feeling other people do too with the exception of my husband and his family who have now been poisoned also since that day. There is a lot more to these stories. 27 years of them. My mom and I used to be very close and I feel like this is tearing us apart. She blames this on me despite anything I say to her. Someone please help.

Comments

Blondie
28 Jul 2013

I feel sorry for you, I had a mother addicted to alcohol, and have a similiar story to yours, except we had to cut all ties to remain sane, and now my husba nd is showing all the signs of alcohol abuse.

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