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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Like a poison arrow in my chest

Posted by Cappuccino on 5 September 2015.

A warm beautiful son who started a career in the military and fell for a girl who changed out whole lives but that was not all. 
We learned through my sons breakdown at 20 that he had been a used when he was younger, we never knew a thing. I was devastated . We tried to get him help but he wasn't reAdy so he went from job to job and eventually the girl who has histrionic personality disorder and was abused over and over with no parenting as she grew up became pregnant .her mother has learning disabilitys, their son now 20 months old. She never took to the baby and it's been tough and dramatic and just so terrible as they are both  clever and have lied to me for two years. I found out they use cocaine and I know this has affected their sons life, I told them so and now I'm banned from seeing him. Their friends stopped coming and they can now on,y manipulate her mum. Everyone says get social services involved ,some say don't,let them get on with it ..I'm stuck whetVe I do,what do I deal with first or do I just let go ,it's killing me and my mum ..I don't know wher to turn


6 Sep 2015

Hi a mother and grandmother,your responsibility has to lie with the child....I've talked to many grandparents in the same situation...3 years ago I was in a similar situation, my son had left his partner, who was struggling to cope with my GS and her other kids...both were into some form of addiction....and social services were called..I decided to try and support initially, however I could see my GS was not getting the care...after he fell down the stairs and was rushed to hospital. I knew I had to air my concerns and look out for son and his GF hated it....but I don't regret it. Thankfully they worked closely with SS and have since realised I'm not an ogre but a support system for them..All children deserve to feel loved, be safe and fed....

7 Sep 2015

Adfam are sorry to hear about your difficulties and thank you for sharing your story. There are some organisations which run helplines that  may be able to advise you around these issues - Grandparents Plus (0300 123 7015), Grandparents Association (0845 434 9585) and Family Rights Group (0808 801 0366) - or you can find more information on their websites by searching Google. You can also access the Adfam directory in order to find local support groups in your area ( We hope this has been useful and if you need any further information do not hesitate to email

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