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Living with a alcoholic husband

Posted by dd on 26 January 2015.

I have lived with my husband for nearly 14 years, I have 4 children. one of them has severe learning difficulties and autism. one has learning difficulties. I have put up with his drinking, as it was manageable, but 7 years ago his drinking was getting worse. then my husband stopped working and became carer for my eldest son. at the beginning of last year he started drinking from morning until he fell asleep at night. we had to tip toe around him and make sure he had drink when he needed it. it all came to a head when he begged my sister to come over while I was at work. He said he couldn't cope any more and was going to do something about it. she managed to get to our house and talk him out of it. I made him go to the doctors and ask what help was available and she said there was a place near by to help with his problem. so we went straight away to the drop in. the place as been helping me (counselling) and him. but he is not been truthful of what he is really drinking! we are not in the same meeting because one is for him and a different one is for me. he hides his drinks and empty cans and bottles all over. my children have got a group to start next month to help them talk about it too. how do I keep all the family together? and support them all? and work at the same time.

Comments

Icarus Trust
27 Jan 2015

I can understand how very hard this must be for you to cope with. I am glad that you have got some support for your children but maybe you could do with some for yourself? The Icarus Trust is a charity which tries to support  family and friends dealing with a loved one's addiction. It might help you if you were able to talk through how you are feeling with someone who has lots of experience of what you have been going through. We offer a free service called 'Family Friends.' If you contact us you could be put in touch with one of these.They are experienced trained volunteers who you could talk with and may be that would help you find the way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope this would help you with some of the issues you are dealing with. Good luck!

dd
28 Jan 2015

Hi I have counselling sessions every week, I've just started them in the town were I live, when my husband goes I go as well at different times. she advised me to contact the domestic violence team (for mental abuse) tonight,and gave me there number. it has got really bad the last few days. hopefully I can sort something out with them, they are ringing me tomorrow and I am doing a self referral. thank you for letting me know about this group and I will look on the website you have given me.

Icarus Trust
30 Jan 2015

Really glad to hear that you are getting support for yourself but sorry that things are so bad. 
Look after yourself!

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