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Looks like I'm not alone then.

Posted by GillyB on 29 December 2013.

Life is beginning to un-ravel, but just reading last few posts tells me it's going to get worse, before better.  Just off loading this tale is going to make me feel better though so thanks.  
 Back in October 2013, my 14yr old son was identified as having been 'dealing' cannabis on school promises. Three weeks later he started at an Educational Support Unit, end of year came and despite assessment being that he could probably get back into main stream school, it's been decided that he will stay in the ESU.  There has also been Police activity and whilst kept out of Court he has a Caution.  I have never cried so much for so long.  He never denied anything, was spotting for older lads (it has been like learning a new language!), gave names etc, he also said he never used it.  Life settles down a bit, he always comes home when asked, misses occasional meal, good company.   But the ESU is only part time, what's a wayward lad likely to get up to.?  What company is he most likely to be able to access.?  I am afraid, very afraid.  
So his phone broke and he used my iPOD (yup he is not from a poor family) and left Facebook logged in......I have found evidence that he is still involved in getting and giving out 'draws', and that he can tell a good one from a bad one.  He is now such an accomplished liar that he almost convinced me that some-one had used his account, he still says he is not doing it.  Of course he is right that I  should not have invaded his privacy.  He is still having sessions with a PC from the Young Offenders team.? Should I tell them..?  His Dad just shouts and screams, and then apologises, often says he will kick him out.  From other posts looks like what we are going through is easy so far, and we need to get more hardened.   We thought he had understood he was already in the 'last chance saloon' and had to keep on the straight path.  Some how feel he is also a victim in this, older boys grooming next generation as bridge into school kids, how can we stop this spiral?

Comments

Franticmum
29 Dec 2013

Hi GillyB, I too have been driven almost insane by the lies and deceit of my son, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is don't let yr heart rule yr head, trust in YOUR instincts, if u think something's amiss is most likely is, the hardest thing I have ever done is testify against my son after he broke into my home and stole precious sentimental items that are now long gone, the police liaison officer who guided us through said the only love u can give anyone involved with drugs is tough love, you need professional help, while my actions didn't stop my son using drugs he has never been in prison since, if things get too much go see your gp mine put me in touch with help for me and other family members, keep strong sorry I couldn't help more but you are not alone xx

GillyB
30 Dec 2013

Thanks for a reply, I was very dis-heartened when looking through the posts to see many, more desperate then mine going unacknowledged.  The instructions do say the story board is not the place to seek advice, and many are not, but but it must be hard after pouring your worst nightmare out that no one appears to care.  So thank you.  A few success stories would be good to read too.

Franticmum
30 Dec 2013

I think it helps a little just writing it down, a counsellor once advised me to go somewhere peaceful where I wouldn't be disturbed and write a letter to my son about all of my feelings about the situation, not to give it to him if I didn't want to but just to put all my worries etc on paper, although I didn't actually give my son the letter I felt a little better just writing it all down, I too think some happy ending would be helpful but sadly in my experience there are not many, I don't know if u read my post but I thought 17 years on I had got my happy ever after, this latest relapse has been by far the worse maybe because I thought it was all behind us, I'm just hoping 2014 is going to be a peaceful year as it's getting harder to pick myself up, it's true what they say that drugs ruin not just one life but the lives of all around them, just remember people do care and solace can be found with support, sorry if this is a bit long winded but I wanted you to remember you are not alone, take care x

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