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losing hope

Posted by Just_another_story on 21 April 2014.

When i was just a little girl just entering the fourth grade my mother got addicted to pills. I remember getting called down to the office just to get told they were taking my mom away again because she was "sick." I knew what it really meant i was young but not dumb i had to grow up pretty fast there was four other siblings in the house. So i played mommy to all of them for a good four years. The worst was when she got off all the medication. I wasnt only taking care of them i was taking care of her to i had to shower her, feed her almost like a baby, and put her to bed. She eventually got almost back to normal. Then a few years later she came across meth. She missed christmas two years in a row she was home but never came out of the bedroom because she wasnt high. She was never home barely. Never talked to me anymore became basically my enemy during this time. So i knew it was time to play mommy again. One day i heard about my mother having an afair, it was a lie, but i asked her anyway. She ended up running away nobody could find her all night. Then she showed up at her friends house covered in blood barely alive. I got a call from my dad that mourning saying my mother was in the hospital he wouldn't tell me why but he did when he came and got me. My mom was so high off of meth and synthetic she fell of a 60 foot cliff. She broke her back and her ancle. They went to go do surgery on her and she ended up having a heart attack and we lost her for a few seconds. She was in the hospital for about three or four weeks. About three months later we all moved to a new town thinking we were getting away from everything. Nope! She had another relapse and is now in treatment .


21 Apr 2014

Hi just_another_story your story reminds me of my childhood excepts Mum was an alcoholic. She also took all sorts of drugs but it was the alcohol that was the main daily problem. This meant I raised my younger brother and 3 younger sisters. I cooked, cleaned, done the washing, shopping and generally became responsible for everything. She suffered terrible moods swings so we were quite brutally beat at times (I remember being left with marks and bruises because she said I smirked at her) I began to hate her and couldn't wait to grow up and escape (daydream of 1 day having my own perfect family) I fell pregnant at 17 and had my first child - a daughter and been with her dad for 14 years now, we have 3 children now. My mum stopped drinking and taking drugs 12 years ago and I've forgiven her. My partner is addicted to Crack and I keep holding on hoping he'll give up - I use every excuse. He stays off it for months, then relapses. I'm scared to break my family or if I leave him he might get worse. After all I've been through I've learnt never to go down that road (I never want to be like she was) yet when I love I really love, I'm very soft, or maybe a walk over. How old are you now if you don't mind me asking?

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