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Lost son

Posted by libby on 10 September 2015.

my son has used drugs from the age of 14 he is now 35 over the years he has managed several jobs had  a relationship which resulted in a beautiful girl, his relationships all break down because of his obsession with weed and pills. I have tried to help and support him as much as I can but he feels I have let him down all his life. He has cut all communication with me because the last time he visited with his 6 year old daughter, he went into the garden and started to roll a joint. When I told him I wasn't prepared to allow him to do this he went mad using foul language, at this point I told him if he couldn't abide by my rules and respect my wishes he had to leave, so he did. I received various texts over the next 24 hours about how evil I am. This all happened about a month ago since which I cannot get hold of him to talk, I am so upset that he won't talk to me and I'm so frightened we will loose him altogether I don't know what to do.

Comments

roo
10 Sep 2015

Hi, I'm roo, in my experience drug users will blame everyone and everything but themselves. I think this is because if they take responsibility for their drug use they then have to admit they have a problem and that they are afraid to stop. I don't know, I just came up with that just now,trying to work out why my partner of 6 years and father of our beautiful 4 year old daughter chooses crack over us. What do we do? All I know right now is if,or once they decide they need help,it can still take a long time to respond to help.

libby
10 Sep 2015

Thanks Roo so sorry for your predicament. I know they have to reach rock bottom before they change,we have been there but it seems life is too difficult for him to deal with in a sane sober drug free way. I just don't want to loose contact and only here that something awful has happened.

roo
10 Sep 2015

Hi Libby, I guess then all you can do is be there,meet him somewhere for coffee,mabe meeting him and just having a chat about trivial things will remind him that your his mum not his enemy. Surely he must need his mum sometimes x

kathan
17 Sep 2015

Hi Libby,even at its most disruptive, I have told my 38yr I love him.Dont like him,but love him.In his more lucid state says knowing that has been a rock for him

Icarus Trust
26 Oct 2015

Hi Libby
if you would like to talk to someone who would have had experience of what you are going through with your son please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the families and friends of addicts. We would put you in touch with one of our 'Family Friends' who are experienced trained volunteers. 
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!

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