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making the break

Posted by mclovin on 21 March 2016.

my partner of 7 years has a cocaine addiction. he went for treatment which he completed around 3 years ago but has since relapsed. this month his beloved nan passed away and he has hit rock bottom. he spent £600 last week on it and on Friday he lost his temper and began screaming at my 9 yr old, a row erupted as I tried to defend her and infront of all of our scared kids he had me against a wall and threatened to kill me. I had him removed by police. I have made the decision that he will not come back into the family home as I believe that is the right decision as a parent, however I wonder if it is possible to recover from this and ever be a family again? do I need to accept our relationship is over and grieve for it or do I love and support him from a distance? I feel somewhat stronger already having made the choice not to help him self destruct any longer  x

Comments

Icarus Trust
22 Mar 2016

Hi,
I am so glad to read that you are feeling stronger now having been through such an awful experience. You have clearly made some good but difficult decisions.
The Icarus Trust is a charity set up to help the family and friends of those with addictions. We have trained volunteers who have a lot of experience of what you have been through. If you feel it would help to talk things through please contact us and we can put you in touch with one of our Family Friends.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.

Fin
7 Apr 2016

Reading your post really struck a cord with me. My wife has an alcohol addiction which in the last year has escalated to the point that at the end of May a decision may be taken by child services to exclude her from the family home. I still love her dearly though and I am terrified of that happening but regonise the need for the stability of my kids. My fear is the same as yours - do I need to begin to accept that our relationship may be over or do I continue to support her from a distance. These are simply heart breaking and impossible decisions. I feel for you as I know how hard this is.

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