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Money stolen for drugs

Posted by JS on 16 August 2015.

my 25yr old son has a serious drug problem, he takes cocaine. until recently he has always worked and supported his drug habit but now he has no job. He has been sacked from his last job because of his behaviour (snorting cocaine regularly in the pub where he worked). 3 days ago he stole £1000 from me and his step-dad and I threw him out, even though I knew I had no choice I'm so worried about turning my back on him. I cry all the time, cant go to work and feel helpless. My husband says if I have him back in the house he will leave as its not the first time he has stolen from us over the years. We have both tried to help in any way we can. He is full of promises to change but has never seeked help.  what do I do now, the thought of the winter and no place to live tears me up. Can anyone advise me please

Comments

JR
19 Aug 2015

My storey seems to similar to most. I have a 25 year old son hooked on Cocaine, started with canabis. Comes from a loving family and still lives at home, has lost jobs and suffers with paranioa. I have just returned from hospital this morning as he had up all night going through every cupboard, drawer and suitcase, as apparently we are trying to set him up. This is having an impact on my health and career and all because i cant show tough love and throw him out. I am paying off his debt, which keeps growing. He's sorry for putting me through this and promises it won't happen again. I find it hard finding the right support for him? Please help!!

CANT TAKE NO MORE
28 Aug 2015

Tough love works...my son will be 25 years old Sunday...they are men not kids,,,it took me a while to change my mindset, but we can't save them, we can only support them ..and I only support him, when he's trying to recover....they drain every emotion out of you, frustrate you, and lie....the worst thing is you want to believe their far stretched stories, well reality check..don't believe a thing they say, don't give them money because all your doing is enabling them to continue with their behaviour....t took me 4 years to realise I wasn't enough, and my heart ached for the handsome, articulate lad I had who would do anything for anyone.....I now get support from a parent group , and will not be part of the problem.....I love my son completely, and always will, but will only support him, whilst he's trying to get clean....stay strong ladies and read everything and anything you can...try and find local support groups and hold your heads up high xxxxx

Maggie
30 Aug 2015

I know exactly how you all feel, I've put up with exactly the same for years but have had to toughen up and come to the conclusion that my 28 year old son won't change unless HE wants to. I have done all I can to try and help him and I believed he wanted to change his ways but it was all talk and no action!   I'm not bailing him out anymore or giving him money.  I will always be here for him for a meal or buy him toiletries etc but that's it until I see evidence that he has changed.  He was such a sweet boy, you never think it could happen to your family and such a shock when it does.   I also dread the thought of winter coming and him being homeless.  Perhaps they have to get this low to bring them to their senses!  Stay strong and look after yourselves ladies.x

buffy
31 Aug 2015

My son is 16 stole money from bf for cannabis and I don't know wot do help

JR
8 Nov 2016

Hi,
A year later and same old blog. My sons probably on his 3rd job of the year. He's working away which gives me a reprieve, don't know how long it will last.  Today I made the decision to cut him off. I have blocked him in every way to contact me and wrote him a lengthy letter. I have tried taking him to group therapy, he went in and walked back out, I have taken him to the doctors and made countless appointments, I have paid for a private councilling session, which went well but he never returned and I arranged a visit from rehab which he refused to go to. I know in my heart i have taught him right from wrong and have tried all I can. It's down to him. I have told him I will be here when he is making attempts to help himself.  Trying to stay strong but it's heartbreaking. x

JR
8 Nov 2016

Hi,
A year later and same old blog. My sons probably on his 3rd job of the year. He's working away which gives me a reprieve, don't know how long it will last.  Today I made the decision to cut him off. I have blocked him in every way to contact me and wrote him a lengthy letter. I have tried taking him to group therapy, he went in and walked back out, I have taken him to the doctors and made countless appointments, I have paid for a private councilling session, which went well but he never returned and I arranged a visit from rehab which he refused to go to. I know in my heart i have taught him right from wrong and have tried all I can. It's down to him. I have told him I will be here when he is making attempts to help himself.  Trying to stay strong but it's heartbreaking. x

JR
8 Nov 2016

Hi,
A year later and same old blog. My sons probably on his 3rd job of the year. He's working away which gives me a reprieve, don't know how long it will last.  Today I made the decision to cut him off. I have blocked him in every way to contact me and wrote him a lengthy letter. I have tried taking him to group therapy, he went in and walked back out, I have taken him to the doctors and made countless appointments, I have paid for a private councilling session, which went well but he never returned and I arranged a visit from rehab which he refused to go to. I know in my heart i have taught him right from wrong and have tried all I can. It's down to him. I have told him I will be here when he is making attempts to help himself.  Trying to stay strong but it's heartbreaking. x

JR
8 Nov 2016

Hi,
A year later and same old blog. My sons probably on his 3rd job of the year. He's working away which gives me a reprieve, don't know how long it will last.  Today I made the decision to cut him off. I have blocked him in every way to contact me and wrote him a lengthy letter. I have tried taking him to group therapy, he went in and walked back out, I have taken him to the doctors and made countless appointments, I have paid for a private councilling session, which went well but he never returned and I arranged a visit from rehab which he refused to go to. I know in my heart i have taught him right from wrong and have tried all I can. It's down to him. I have told him I will be here when he is making attempts to help himself.  Trying to stay strong but it's heartbreaking. x

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