for
families
We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
quick links
What should I do?
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
Useful organisations
Publications for family use
Find a local support group
Share your story
Drug factfile
Making a difference
sign in
Sign in to make comments and contribute your own stories. Or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.
Hi , you are currently signed in to the blog.
Want to find a support group? Enter your postcode or town below to find a support group near you.
Share Your Story
Moving Forward
Posted by Want My Husband Back on 23 September 2014.
I feel helpless and very stupid. My husband has had a drug problem using cannabis for 15 years now. I've let him convince me to compromise on when and where he can smoke and now I see that I have been an enabler to his smoking. He promises he can stop but he has proven time after time that he can't. I don't want him to be a drug addict and I want to believe that he can stop. But all his actions tells me he can't and he smokes all the time. He wakes up and smokes, he smokes in the bathroom while he takes a bath, he smokes before he gets in the car, hes smokes during tv shows when he steps into the garage How do I help him, how do I help my kids. What do I say to him when he blames me for drinking when we go out, or having a drink at home. What do I say when he says he won't do it again and he sees how disappointed and hurt I am for lying. What do I say when he says he does not have a problem and he can stop any time. What do I say when he says he doesn't want to stop. Every talk about this escalates into an argument and he becomes violent. Do I walk away or Do I hang on to help him? How do I and my kids move forward?
Comments
Icarus_Trust
24 Sep 2014
Wow, that is horrific... You sound so trapped, you need to breathe. Contact The Icarus Trust, they support families who are affected by addiction, and they can help you, signpost you to what you exactly need. To contact them, simply to www.icarustrust.org or email them on info@icarustrust.org. I hope this is helpful and gives you the support you need.
Icarus_Trust
24 Sep 2014
Wow, that is horrific... You sound so trapped, you need to breathe. Contact The Icarus Trust, they support families who are affected by addiction, and they can help you, signpost you to what you exactly need. To contact them, simply to www.icarustrust.org or email them on info@icarustrust.org. I hope this is helpful and gives you the support you need.
Laus232801
9 Oct 2014
Hello there, I am in pretty much the same horrid situation as you, only difference being my husband knows he is addicted and tells me he enjoys it and cannot quit completely! He has cut it down a lot but I want this to stop! I want it out of my home I will not have my(our) children aware of this as they grow older! I am trying to bring them up the best way I can and they are good children, but how long will that last if they ever found out! I feel like such a bad mum because I have aloud his addiction to continue in my home! I love him so much he is my absolute world and we get on do well, but I have got to protect my children and put them 1st. He is a great daddy but he could be soo much greater! However my biggest fear is if I was a to tell him to leave, what would happen to him then? Would I be adding to his troubles as to why he uses cannabis! Could it top him over the edge? My biggest fear is that he needs the weed more than me and would rather be without me! I keep sweeping it under the carpet hoping the problem will go away, and it does while I'm closing my mind off to it, but the reality is I cannot continue like this! I already know how stupid I am but I fell in love with this man 11 years ago and I was too naive to think how this would affect us in the future! So it's not that easy to just say leave my children would be heartbroken, but if he can't or refuses to stop what choice do I have???
Poppy36
27 Oct 2014
I know how you both feel. I have been with a man for many years now and he has just left me for cannabis and speed. I couldn't take anymore and I didn't want my children to be affected but the pain of being abandoned is hard. I feel like I wasn't good enough and that he has chosen a lifestyle of drugs over his family- he even said as much. He knows it's selfish but he can't help it. Since leaving, he has been doing a lot of drugs and I'm sad because at least when he was home with us it was controlled. I don't want to lose him, he is a good person and loving but he is devoted to drugs not to us. I just pray that one day he will realise for himself that he needs to be free.
You must be signed in to comment. To sign in, use the form to the right, or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.
Icarus_Trust
24 Sep 2014