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Mum

Posted by Rolypoly on 11 October 2015.

My mum is an alcoholic.
She has always liked a drink but since she gave up work 9 years ago to retire,she has become much worse.
I don't know what to do anymore.I'm a professional person who works with people with addiction problems on a daily basis.
My Mum used to be a lovely,nice person and she still is in many ways.But,she has started lying about her alcohol use.She saw an alcohol counsellor a few years ago but lied to them about her use.She used to try hard to cover things up but most of the time now she is not bothered.
It came to a head for me over the past couple of weeks as I have seen her(I live elsewhere and don't see her often enough).She lies to my stepdad about her drinking and she lies to us(the children,I'm 39 and my siblings are older).I confronted her when she was drunk last week and she admitted there was a problem but is still in denial.I know that talking to her when she was drunk wasn't the best idea.I told her she's ruining her health,her life and her relationships and the person I was looking at was not my Mum.I'm not looking for answers but feel like I am dealing with this on my own.I know I can't do anything until she makes the decision to change which I don't think she will.Thanks for listening.

Comments

kathan
17 Oct 2015

So hard for you.
Take care x

Daughter of alcoholic
4 Nov 2015

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I know exactly what you are going through as I went through literally the same thing, except with my Dad. My Dad knew he had a problem and admitted it to myself, my sister and my mum but when he went to see counsellor/doctors/AA he just used to say he was getting better and lied to them as he was actually getting worse. My Dad used hide his drink everywhere, I asked him to come and live with me but had to ask him to leave as it was just too much. I was there 110% for my Dad and tried my hardest but unfortunately it wasn't good enough. I write in past tense because my Dad passed away in April this year. I felt I needed to write to you to let you know you're not alone and I hope the same doesn't happen to your Mum. I would suggest sticking by her no matter what, then at least you have peace of mind if the worst does happen. My story is on here if you wanted to share it with her, I found that my Dad thought he was invincible, when he wasn't, maybe if you're Mum sees it's actually damaging to her health and alcohol does kill she will have a change of heart. I know once alcohol takes over it's hard to get rid of and is an illness which doesn't really get that much attention and help unless alcoholics beg for it. By the way, my Dad was 44 when he passed so I would urge her to maybe seek rehab/a wet home. I'm here to talk if you need to x

Icarus Trust
16 Nov 2015

The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports the family and friends of addicts. If you feel it would be helpful to talk to someone who would listen and understand your situation then please contact us. You would be put in touch with one of our experienced trained volunteers called Family Friends. Hopefully that would help you to feel that you are not alone.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!

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