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My boyfriend a heroin addict

Posted by Sdiggle on 21 December 2013.

My partner and father to my two beautiful children is a junkie a heroin addict has been so for 20years although I was the last to find out to me he was the most amazing person I had ever met. I didn't know about heroin didn't know much about drugs atall until he finally told me two years ago a part of me died that day , never have I hurt like he has hurt me , I know when he has done it I've learnt the signs but he will never admit it , he has destroyed so much of me for the sake of smack . Then lately I find out he does not smoke it anymore but injects it I feel sick just writing that . I'm not a saint I was a self harmer for nearly ten years an he knows that so how selfish can he be to make me live with his addiction when I'm still healing from my own I really wish I could just walk away but stupidly something stops me am I still here for the children's sake or deep down do I honestly believe the person I feel in love with may one day come back or was that even a real person atall .

Comments

blondie1
21 Feb 2014

such a sad story my lovely-im similar situation to you-been with my partner 14 yrs-3 boys 2gether, didnt find out about him 'dabbling' with heroin till my first born was 3 years old :( but because i was dumb to heroin-believed eveything he told me about it-its horrible when you get to that point where u know every little sign-sometimes i think i we were better off b4 i knew it all-happy-but it was all false-he was on the stuff the whole time with been together-i just didnt know about it, that drug is such a nasty horrible drug-wrecks families lives-thing is you end up staying with them for just 'another' chance because because you want to keep your family together and you love them-but i have recently realised that i am only holding on to the memory of my man-as he has been an empty shell for last 2/3 years now, is it a truley heart wrenching situation to be in, i never thought in a million years i would find myself in this situation, i am gutted-wish there was a simple answer to this problem but i am starting to really accept that there isnt and that this 'problem' is a long term problem and long term commitment, personally i think there should be more funding for residentail programmes and rehab centres, my partner  (atm) is regularly attending all of his appointments and meetings but has been told he is just simply not poorley enough to qualify for a stay in rehab :( i am tring the last resort-tough love, fingers crossed and time will tell! i wish u all the luck in the world and hope u get things sorted and find strenght to make 'you' happy :) xxx

Sdiggle
28 Feb 2014

Things are never going to change I thought he was doing really well an then last night he does it again , im gutted im sick of crying he talks like its nothing I just want him to go , but im stupid I love him but how many more times can I forgive , hes taken every bit of happines in me , xx

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