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My boyfriend fights me

Posted by Glass on 22 May 2011.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years.  I have a beautiful and very intelligent son .
When we started our relationship I was on my own with my son in a new city, and he was one of the first people I met.  He liked me very much and eventually we got together.
He has been using recreational drugs for a long time since he was 17 and I met him when he is 32.  I did not think this will cause a problem between us and I occasionally  smoke a spliff or took a pill in a party or so.
However, I stopped taking any drugs and find that I liked very much to be cleaned and wish for us to share space enjoying life together with no use of drugs.
My boyfriends friends are heavily into drugs, and he, my boyfriend, is a social being, who adores his friends.
Lately, it has become more and more apparent to me that there is a problem with drugs and his attitude towards me coming forward to tell him this has been received very badly, with a lot of anger and arguments.
He smokes every night when he comes from work, and just lies in the couch stoned; on weekends he goes out with his friends and smokes and takes pills whilst I am at home on my own or with my son.  The last straw happens when we went to a wedding and he ignored me all night, then the week after he went to another party on his own and got high; I was very upset as I am always at home when he is out taking drugs and he told me that because he had taken MDMA he could feel compassion towards me instead of anger, for me being upset. To me this is such an insult.
It has been one of the most difficult weeks in our relationship.  After this he has continued to smoke weed every night and has gone out to see his friends for 3 nights in a row, coming back home after 1 am totally stoned; now I find it difficult to share the bed together. I am feeling so hopeless as every time I have tried to let him now how I feel he gets very angry, leaves me or tells me its my fault, that I am not understanding  and kind to him.  He has blamed me for my sadness and says it is all my fault and it is me who has to change.
I love him very much but I am totally disraught.

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